Giving Thanks

I cannot believe it has been 10 days since I last posted.  The Thanksgiving Holiday and enjoying family deserved my time. Now my family is preparing for a big event (to be shared later). 

Until then, here are some pictures my cousin took during her visit with us.  It was so nice to catch up with her.  We had Thanksgiving Texan’ Style

Shootin’

Delicious Boneless Turkey – Year II

Watching a barn raising at the Homestead fair

A visit to the new park sculpture – I call them the Big Baskets

The Little Lady enjoying an early birthday present – Beads!

Sir Alex the Cuddly

Icon Writing With Kids - The Entrance of Blessed Theotokos into the Temple

Copying icons with Alex has helped him to know feasts of the Church, stories from the Bible and Theology.  I have taken icons from about our house and copied them as best I could in the limited time we have during Kristiana’s nap.  I describe the scene or tell the story and then I ask him questions about it as we paint.  And voila, icon writing for kids.  It is a great tool for teaching the faith.

The Entrance of Blessed Theotokos into the Temple

The Wedding at Cana

The Ladder of Divine Ascent

Alex and Kristiana with Christ

A Grateful Stay at Home Mom

Received a card from a dear friend. Thank you!

Admired a cornucopia on my table. It was a gift. It makes me feel thankful.

“Mommy, can I help you?!”

“Absolutely, my dear. Thank you!”

Reward for his labor – Today at Liturgy the priest spoke how with God there is great reward for small effort with love.
Alex has been asking for the last week to make cookies. He wanted to make the kids. 

A nice meal of Shrimp Creole to finish the day’s fast. Beautiful.

Psalm 95

¹ Come, let us sing for joy to the LORD;
   let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation.
² Let us come before him with thanksgiving
   and extol him with music and song.

³ For the LORD is the great God,
   the great King above all gods.
⁴ In his hand are the depths of the earth,
   and the mountain peaks belong to him.
⁵ The sea is his, for he made it,
   and his hands formed the dry land.

⁶ Come, let us bow down in worship,
   let us kneel before the LORD our Maker;
⁷ for he is our God
   and we are the people of his pasture,
   the flock under his care.

   Today, if only you would hear his voice,
⁸ “Do not harden your hearts as you did at Meribah,
   as you did that day at Massah in the wilderness,
⁹ where your ancestors tested me;
   they tried me, though they had seen what I did.
¹⁰ For forty years I was angry with that generation;
   I said, ‘They are a people whose hearts go astray,
   and they have not known my ways.’
¹¹ So I declared on oath in my anger,
   ‘They shall never enter my rest.’”

Happy Bear

Here is my Annie Bear trying to relieve her gas ;-) It was pretty cute.
She kept smiling, but I didn’t capture the smiles.

Pray to St. Francis and St. Anthony for Samwise the Kitty – He has gone missing and we hope he comes home.

Tot Talk: I Like Cop-ee

I have had a little trouble keeping up with the blog lately and everything else in life.  I do not remember the last time the kitchen floor was mopped or the sheets were changed.  I cannot determine whether it is due to exhaustion or inefficiency on my part.  Nonetheless, I am behind.  This week I am going to start trying to post pictures and not worry about also having “deep thoughts” to go along with them.

Here is a picture of Kristiana enjoying her morning cup of coffee (a couple ounces of vanilla almond milk and a spot of coffee).  She also insisted upon wearing my shirt today.  She thought she looked like a princess.

On Saturday morning, Kristiana peered over the side table into my coffee cup and said, “Are you all done?” 

“Yes, I am all done.”  She nodded her little head and said,

“Ooh, okay.”  She took a big swig and said, “Mmm, I LIKE cop-ee.”

Just what I need, my high energy child likes coffee.

Archangel Michael and All Angels (Casserole)

Remember Archangel Michael.  He fought Lucifer the Angel who defied God and cast him out of Heaven.  According to my Byzantine Eastern Catholic calendar, today, November 8, is the feast of St. Michael and the Archangels.  However, on the Roman calendar the feast is on September 29.  I missed September 29, because I was caring for our newly born baby.  So I am glad to have another opportunity to celebrate.  I often celebrate feasts choosing one calendar or another, depending on how our lives are going.  But I do not consistently choose only the Eastern, or only Rome.  We regularly attend a Roman church, because we are 1h45min drive from the nearest Byzantine church.  It just makes sense to celebrate Roman Catholic feasts unless Rome does not celebrate certain feasts and then we go Eastern.  Anyhow, I wanted to share how I celebrate this feast.  I developed this recipe that I think is lovely for the day called, “Archangel Casserole.”

This casserole is symbolic of Angels/Heaven, earth/humanity and Holy Spirit/Holy Trinity.  The chicken represents the Angels’ wings and Heaven.  The vegetables are earth and humanity.  The white sauce is the Holy Spirit, but also has triune ingredients making up the Trinity. (I’m a Catholic nerd. But, it’s a tasty casserole)

Makes 4-6 servings

Ingredients for Casserole:

• 2 cups cooked chicken
• 1 lb. / 16 oz. frozen California blend vegetables
• 3 ½ cups homemade Alfredo sauce
• ½ cup fine breadcrumbs
• ¼ cup parmesan
• 2 T. butter

Ingredients for Alfredo:

• 3 T. butter
• 3 T. white flour
• 3 cups milk
• ½ cup parmesan
• Salt and Pepper

Notes:

I use leftover roast chicken from one I made the night before, but for a simpler version you could use a 14 oz canned chicken breast or bake a couple breasts in the oven while you prep the other ingredients and sauce. The frozen California blend vegetables include broccoli, cauliflower and carrots.

Pre-heat the oven to 350^oF

Alfredo Sauce Preparation:

Pre-measure the 3 cups of milk and set aside. Melt the butter in a sauce pan (1.5-2 qt. pan) on high heat. Once the butter is melted and frothy, but not browned, add the flour 1 T. at a time whisking continuously until completely blended. Turn down the heat to medium and slowly whisk in the milk. Keep whisking to be sure there are no lumps. Slowly bring sauce to a soft boil. As the sauce begins to thicken add the parmesan and keep stirring. Add salt and pepper to taste.

Casserole:

Mix the chicken and vegetables in a casserole. Pour the Alfredo sauce over the chicken and vegetables. Cover the top of the casserole with bread crumbs and then cover with remaining ¼ cup of parmesan.

Bake 45 minutes. Let stand uncovered for 15 minutes after baking.

St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle; be our safeguard against the wickedness and snares of the Devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray, and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host, by the power of God, cast into Hell, Satan and all the other evil spirits, who wander throughout the world, seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.

Little Hobbits Update

I have been BUSY and sleepy.  I have been working on  stuff for my Mom’s group, an article, an Advent presentation for the church, cooking, cleaning (sorta’), play dates and karate, home school (also sorta’), prayer and good works ;-)  So here is the best photo update I can offer.  I had better schedule an economic (wal-mart), professional photo-shoot.  Especially if I want to send folks some pictures at Christmas.  It’s been really hard going to stores with three kids.  Kristiana is at the runoff with reckless abandon age.  I know people think I am an unfit mother when they find her all by herself on the other side of a building from where her mother is.  She is super fast.  When they ask her where her mommy is, she is fully capable of telling them where I am.  I just don’t know where she is.  She has no fear either. Eek.  Time to pull out that leash? Yeah, maybe.

Annie Bear

Sibling Play

Sisters Entertaining Each Other

Sweet Cheeks #3

   

Happy All Hallows Eve

I like to keep this holiday Holy, as in not celebrate the pagan traditions.  In an ideal world we would dress up as saints and learn about them.  Since the baby was born, I have been a little pressed for time.  So we cannot dress as saints, because I don’t have time to make costumes and they don’t sell saint costumes in the store.  We can still spend a little extra time learning about saints.  I do not want my family being a part of anything ghoulish or evil.  I know that some people do nothing special to acknowledge the Holy day other than going to church.  However, if we eliminated all traditions that stemmed from pagan origins we would be without a lot of our Christian traditions (likewise a lot of everyday things have Christian origins).  I only recently learned that the Advent wreath has pagan origins.  Therefore, I think if we keep our traditions holy, then it is reasonable for us to celebrate the Holy day.

So now for the fun.  I decided we were going to trunk or treat at our church.  We decorate the trunks and dress up and hand out candy.  Again, ideally we would dress as saints, but I bought some cute (non-evil) costumes the kids love and they have been wearing them for days.  Alex and I painted a big poster of the “Ladder of Divine Ascent” for our trunk decoration.  We only had an hour to do it while Kristiana napped, so we could not paint all the people.  Alex painted Hell and the people in Hell and the people falling off the ladder.  We did this as a home school lesson and he learned about Heaven and Hell.  I thought it was a fitting reminder of how we become saints.

  Our Littlest Angel

Amish Autumn

Yesterday, we were without power for 21 hours.  The power went out at midnight and then was on low surge until the morning when, after six calls, the power company came out and turned off the power completely and informed me we had a big problem. 

When the power went out, my husband, who was up, came to wake me, because he was concerned about the surge.  I was immediately indignant.  “Why are you waking me, and I’m hot (just a half hour after the A/C went down).  I’m going to sleep downstairs where it’s cooler.”  My husband thought I was being irrational, but he doesn’t have to sleep next to the little ten pound space heater named Annie.

After a night of tossing and turning on the sofa and a reasonable amount of sleep, we still had a low surge.  I made coffee and breakfast and then talked to the power man.  He told me that the power line had burned up on one side of the breaker.  He had to turn off the power and not six units of townhouses were without power.  He said that I needed to have the landlord fix it and it was going to take some time, so I needed to get on it right away and stay on it.

When the power went out, I was immediately grateful and counting my blessings.  I had had time to make coffee (very important)!  It was a reasonably cool, autumn day (only 80 degrees by the end of the day) and there was a strong breeze.  My friend was able to afford me a some space in her refrigerator, so my food would not spoil.  The fire in the power box did not burn down building.  My husband had called the power company right away in the middle of the night and I was home to talk to the repairman, so we were getting this taken care of sooner rather than later.  There was a lot to be thankful for and as soon as I was done talking to the power man and maintenance, the kids and I were formally praying our gratitude.  Okay to be honest, with all the excitement, I had lost the kids’ attention, but they knew what I was doing.

Alex was sort of funny, because he asked every repairman who came through, “Hey! Why you turn off my watchin’?”  He was in the middle of his morning cartoons.  Yes, I was a little embarrassed.  But, our day went on mostly as normal, except I did not have to wash the laundry.  We went to the park and karate, ate a cool lunch and snacks, we did our home school lesson by the window.  Then in the late afternoon we played outside in the parking lot with bikes and talked to the repairmen outside.  Then we went out for dinner.  We could have gone old-timey and spread some peanut butter on some bread and called it a night, but we had a gift certificate so we felt obliged to eat out.

Most of the late afternoon and early evening we stood outside talking with our neighbors.  No one wanted to sit inside in the heat and sickening blackness.  There were solar security lights outside and we were enjoying getting to know each other better.  We all stood out there watching the kids play (our kids went to bed at a normal hour) and talking until 10:00 p.m. when the power company finally came to turn the power back on.

It was all fixed around 4:30 p.m., but the city inspection still had to be reported to the power company.  From the time of the report to the time the power company came out to turn on the power was five hours. Oh dread.  But again, we had to count our blessings, the landlord pointed out because we lived in a small town suburb we were able to get the inspector out quickly instead of days like the greater surrounding area.

When the power was finally on, all the neighbors rushed back into their homes. “See y’all in the parking lot as I rush off to work, or whatever. I have power now, so we don’t really need to talk again anytime soon.”  Yeah, it was a little surreal.  Neighbors used to talk and know each other (before I was born).  I meandered into my home, rocking the infant I had had in my arms all this time.  Inside, everything was lit up like a magnificent, golden palace and a the cool breezy air conditioner was humming.  I washed out my refrigerator, because it was conveniently empty.  I felt grateful. 

It is amazing how a day without power can change your perspectives.  I realized how little power we actually need.  I am super grateful for every kilowatt we get to use.  I realized there are real people living twenty feet away from me.  There are a lot of good people doing their jobs.  My husband is still a boy scout and a leader (he sort of rallied the neighbors as we stood outside our homes).  There is a lot of time to be had when you do not have electronics to distract you.  There is always time to count your blessings.

All praise be to God.

Prayer for Sasha

          Alex melted my heart yesterday afternoon.  We now have morning prayer back on our schedule.  We also officially have an hour of Adoration, and a friend has convinced us to go to Friday morning Mass with the local Catholic school.  So Alex (and the rest of us) is getting a lot of face to face time with the Lord. 

          So back to the reason Alex melted my heart yesterday.  He was going to spend the night at his friend’s house.  He packed his own bag.  He picked out his clothing and stuffed it in his bag and then while I was occupied with folding laundry he was digging into the toys.  Or so I thought, our prayer area is next to the toys (I know, it’s a wonder they pray at all with the distraction, but I figure it gives them ownership of the area ;-).  He came back to me and said, “Mommy, I want to take Beary Bear and my prayer book to share with Andrew.”

Aaaawwwe.  Seriously? All the praying with the kids paid off and now he could not imagine an evening without praying with his friend.  I just thought it was a special moment when I realized that praying is a priority on this four-year-old’s do list.  “Glory be to You, Our God, Glory be to you.  May our children love You always and grow to be holy in your eyes.”

She Looks A Lot Like…

Alex.

That’s my Annie

7 Quick Takes: In Between Here and There

1.  I have not posted, because not much noteworthy has been going on. Time is just flying by with the kids—I cannot believe Anne is already three weeks old. Yet, Annie seems older to me.  She’s had to mature quicker than the other kids to have a fighting chance around here.

2. I have not taken any new pictures except for a ladies’ night out, because with three kids, one being a newborn, I am lucky I get dressed before noon each day.

3. Then around 1:30 pm, I feel like crawling back into bed for a nap.  Annie is always happy to  come take a nap too.  Since her birth, I have only gone two days without a nap.  Oh how I wish it were possible everyday.  Some naps have been accidental…Alex working on a puzzle, “I’m just going to lay my head on the table for a couple minutes…” Twenty minutes later, Alex wakes me,

          “Mommy, I hear baby crying.”

4. But I have been trying to get back to life as we know it.  I have been getting up at our usual time and have tried to get a shower and get dressed before the kids wake up!  I am mostly back in the habit of cooking dinner and hand washing dishes afterward.  I ran out of disposable diapers for Kristiana, so she is back into cloth (and I totally prefer cloth—weird, I know).

5.  I took the kids to Eucharistic Adoration two weeks in a row.  Both times the same old lady was there praying the rosary.  The first week I could just hear her inner stew bubbling as Kristiana ran circles around the room, and as I disciplined Alex to sit quietly. This week the lady exited into the main sanctuary to finish her rosary.  I need to sign up for my own hour, so I do not disturb others.

6.  Hmm, the house is a little messy.  I don’t think I am really going to care about that one for another couple of weeks.  My mother-in-law just left and she kept my house picked up for the five full days she was here.  I gave things a good cleaning in between Anne’s visit and M-I-L visit.  It’ll be a few more days before I get squeamish about the mess and a couple of weeks for the dirt and grime. (Now that I have written about, I am sure I will be pulling out the mop bucket this afternoon.)

7.  And finally, since I have been fighting to keep a schedule, I have been struggling to keep “all things Holy.”  It’s hard to get up and pray by myself.  The kids seem to get up either before me or right after me.  It’s hard to get the kids in order, pause and pray morning prayers with them.  I cannot think about reading scripture or my book study…yet, we seem to be able to make it to regularly scheduled outings: karate, the library, MOPS and play dates.  Seems like my priorities are off.

Sassy Girl

This is a post all about my sassy little girl. 

          Last night we served the children fish sticks and corn.  The adults had plans to eat a gourmet meal of smothered scallops, asparagus and saffron rice.  I sat with the children as they ate their dinner while my husband worked on the scallops.  Kristiana loves corn but she was only picking at it and she would not touch the fish stick.  Great, another picky eater.  Anyhow, I dismissed her from the table.  Then the adult meal was set on the table and we sat down with our guest.  Kristiana came toddling along, peered up over the table, put her hand on her hip, pointed at the table and in a sassy little manner said, “I want thum.”  (Translation: I want some.) She sat down and helped herself to a big helping of asparagus and a little helping of scallops and rice.  Don’t serve Kristiana the cheap, imitation, kiddie meal.  She wants to be invited to the adults’ table.

          Kristiana has a big personality.  She is not quite 2 years old, but has all the characteristics of a 2 year old.  These days she throws pretty big fits anytime she does not get what she wants.  She likes to pick her own clothes and if we do not put on the clothes she picks, then she throws herself down and starts screaming. 

          She is the only little sister I know who picks on her older brother.  She walks over to him, steals his toys and then runs away giggling hoping he will chase her.  This morning she sat down behind him threw her arms around his waist and tried to drag him over and tackle him.  She tries to pick up her baby sister and walk away with her.  She tries to pick up mommy too.  When Alex goes to karate class, Kristiana runs out on the floor and lines up on a mark just like the other students.

          After bath time, she runs around naked and won’t get dressed.  Daddy tells her if she doesn’t get dressed, she never gets dressed, he will spank her.  She then runs around slapping her bum exclaiming very seriously, “No pank! No pank!”  Which is hilarious and hard to want to spank her.

Mostly, she walks about the house making sassy little exasperations about everything.

(Photo by renidemus)

 

7 Quick Takes: Mother of Three

1.  Before birth I read stories of “Churching” in which women in the old Church lay-low and stay in, do not go to church or anywhere for 40 days after birth.  They just bond with their baby.  Then after 40 days the baby is baptized and the mother is blessed and life begins again.  So I had visions of taking it really easy the first week after child birth.  I was hoping it would be filled with a lot of sitting and drinking water, eating soup—like I had the flu.  I thought I would not cook or do dishes or any household chores.  Of course, women of the old church had family in close proximity.

2. Reality is that on the day I came home from hospital life was just waiting there for me.  My son’s asthma deserved a trip to the doctor and I was the only one who could take him that day.  My daughter really needed some cuddling.  And somehow, dinner had to happen.  The next day laundry had to be done.  Wednesday the kids were begging to get out of the house.  Fortunately, I have had help from my dear friend, Anne (does that name sound familiar?). I have been afforded a nap each day.  But life does not cease because I want it to, and I have quickly realized that my visions of taking it easy for 40 days are unrealistic.  The Queen of the house cannot afford a vacation at present.  Her responsibilities are too great.  (I love it.  I wouldn’t change it.)

3. Actually, I am grateful that I have been able to carry on so well.  I have been tired and sore, but doing well.  I even forced myself to get up at my usual time for the past couple of days to help habituate myself back my life and schedule.  And of course, other friends have made generous offers of their time and resources.

4. My Angels have all been demanding of my love and attention.  That has been the hardest part of this all.  Kristiana in particular wants me to carry her around the house and that really hurts my body.  I am not supposed to be carrying her.  But she gets really hurt when I will not pick her up.  I offer to sit down with her, but she does not want that.  So I have carried her at least a few times a day.  That’s what they make pain reliever for, right?

5.  Family helpers – Alex and Kristiana are not at all jealous of the new baby.  They LOVE her.  They love to hug and kiss her.  They bring her clean diapers and throw away the dirty ones.  Kristiana loves to pick up the baby, carry around and tackle her, which is impressive because Annie is a little under half her weight. She does not quite understand how to be gentle.

6. All by myself – Next week I will mostly be all by myself with our three little ones.  I anticipate it will be hard.  I hope we can find peace and rhythm.  I am sure I will be praying for grace and patience again throughout my days.  Say a little prayer for me and all mommies with little ones.

7. So far, so good – Annie is a perfect baby.  She does not cry or fuss.  She has not had bad gas.  She is a champion at nursing.  She sleeps in long stints giving me a chance to rest and care for the other children.  She does not tax my resources.  Hopefully she is my laid back child. 

Birth Story – Annie

On Friday, I was feeling both tired and wired. I had not slept well in a week. The whole day long I carried on with the usual business convinced that this was not the day birth would occur. I had an outing with the kids in the morning. Then for lunch I made myself some black bean tacos spiked with a healthy dose of habanero hot sauce hoping for some sympathetic contractions. The hot sauce did spur some contractions, but not long after lunch I dozed on the sofa and so did the contractions. Later in the afternoon, the kids and my best friend, Anne, and I took a trip to the grocery store to stock the pantry. I wasn’t feeling great. I was feeling heavy, uncomfortable and like contractions might start, but we completed the shopping. I made some dinner and while it was simmering, my friend who is visiting to help with the new baby, insisted Andrew and I go have time to be alone. So we went to be “alone” together, followed by a healthy dinner of split pea soup, grill cheese sandwiches and delicious oat muffins. Immediately following dinner, true labor began.

At first we were all excited, which faded into ennui. The three of us, Anne, Andrew and I watched a movie. But, I started to nod off during the movie, so when I heard my son cry upstairs I jumped up to go check on him and after I settled his fears, I simply tip-toed off to bed without telling anyone. An hour or so later my husband came to check on me and I was snoozing. As I recall, I don’t think I went back to sleep but simply laid there. The contractions were a little more intense. After a while I got up thinking I could distract myself with some more T.V. and perhaps nod off again. It was 1:00 a.m. and my husband went to bed.

Labor

From the beginning, this labor was different. My previous labor started with mildly uncomfortable, but strong tightening contractions, which did not seem difficult to endure until I hit 8 cm. This time the contractions were painful cramping from the beginning of labor. I told my husband this was going to be a lot more painful if this is how it is beginning. I also felt more pressure toward the rear, which I hoped meant she was moving down. I did some squatting to help move things along.

After I moved back downstairs, I lay down, but the contractions would not let me get comfortable, then I remembered the cloth diapers were still hanging on the clothesline. I went to take them off the line. It was very still and peaceful outside. It was too quiet. There was a toad sitting on the patio. I thought that was unusual. I went back inside and did a few more small chores. Then looked for something on T.V. to distract me from labor. There was not really anything good to watch and labor was picking up.

As I labored, I leaned over every piece of furniture, pushed up against the wall, rocking and breathing deep breaths. While I could, I would pray. It occurred to me around 4:00 a.m. to turn the T.V. to EWTN in hopes they were praying the rosary. This was a little after active labor began. It was a biography of Padre Pio. It was not exactly what I was looking for, but as I leaned over the ottoman rocking and breathing, it was a good distraction. You would think that listening to a story of someone who had suffered far more than I, with great love in communion with Christ’s sufferings would inspire me, alas it did not (I guess because I really wanted to pray, but couldn’t keep focused during contractions). It merely served as a distraction.

Hospital Time

The hours seemed to pass quickly. I told my husband when he went to bed that we would probably be going to the hospital around 6:00 a.m. I was right. At 5:30 a.m. I decided to try a bath to soothe some of the pain. At first it seemed to do nothing, but the longer I sat, the more it seemed easier to breathe through the contractions. I started to nod off again in between contractions, which is funny because at this point they were three minutes apart. So I had three minute naps for about a half hour. Then I woke Andrew, calling from the bath. “Andrew, Andrew, go let the cat in. It’s morning and I don’t want him to be left out all day. Oh and I think it’s time to go to the hospital, so you really need to wake up.” Panic, on my husband’s behalf. “No, it’s okay. Get dressed. Do what you need to do. I am just saying we should go soon.”

Andrew called the midwife and let her know that we were going in. We got checked in and I was at 7 cm. Same as what I was at when I came in for Kristiana’s birth. I get a gold star for coming in at 7 cm. We were gonna have some birthin’ this mornin’. Once in the delivery room I got down to business—still breathing and rocking and bracing myself on all different parts of the nifty delivery bed. The nurses all commented that I looked like a pro with my breathing. This made me feel very good about myself. To me, there did not seem another way to endure the contractions but to breathe. I feed off of positive reinforcement. It gave me energy just hearing their lauds. Of course, I wondered if they bolster all the mommies. I mean of course they do. But, I still like to think I was doing something right and I get a gold star for this too.

Early labor through active labor was actually quite beautiful for me. They say you should focus your mind elsewhere during contractions. So as I had with Kristiana’s labor, I focused in my mind on a smiling portrait of Alexander from when he was 18 months old. There is something about his smile in that picture that totally relaxes me and takes me to another place. But, this time at the end of a contraction, after focusing on Alex’s smile it would fade into a beautiful fuscia rose image. I attribute this addition to the invocations of blessed Theotokos, which I made in between contractions.

Pushing Time

Things were feeling intense and I was ready to try some pushing to move it along. I was already exhausted from being up all night, so it was time to sprint for the finish line. We weren’t quite ready but a little pushing might help that and I felt pretty good about pushing. I pushed on my own for a while Christy, our midwife, helped with things down below. Then she suggested breaking my water, which I had to think about through a few contractions, because I had heard that would make things more intense and I wanted to “take it easy” and “go with the flow.” But, after thinking about it through a few contractions I decided to go ahead. I did not want to try to push out a bag of water and baby and breaking it might help her slide on down.

After the water was broken things changed like it had in the bath. It seemed easier to breathe and push. What followed was more pushing in a squatting position. It seemed long and I got really tired. My head started to go to birthland—that zone where you are in another world almost like floating above yourself, looking in. I had read about this before, but I didn’t experience this with the other kids except for the brief transition period. Then Christy suggested another position. I was now to pull on a rope while pushing. I did this for a while and then lay back on the bed and wanted to give up. My body was not going to let me. It sort of forced me to keep trying, but I knew we weren’t getting anywhere. I could feel it.

I Give Up

Christy asked me to try to empty my bladder. I was willing to try. I made it to the bathroom with help. I was pouring sweat and tears and my body was really bearing down. My body really wanted to deliver the baby. I was in a lot of pain. But, I did not have it in me to push anymore. I felt like I was fighting my body. I asked if it were too late for an epidural, because I have given up. I was REALLY fighting pushing. Christy said it may not be too late, but she wanted to lay me on my side and try to push from there. I was yelling, no, at her. I was sobbing “I give up!” My husband and Christy tried to inspire me with a little spiritual incentive. But, I wasn’t having it. I thought, “No, not even that can get me through. I give up.” I already felt like a bad person for giving up when I so clearly could not. My thought was if I could relax via epidural, perhaps I would have enough strength to push again.

But, I just stood there in the bathroom, rocking while my body was bearing down and Christy and Andrew talking me through. Finally Andrew and Christy got tough on me. Andrew went into his, cut the crap voice he gets with me when I get all irrational, he said, “Renee, no, you don’t give up. Come on.” There is something about his tone and sincerity when he lectures me like this that can convince me of anything. Heavenly inspirations? No. “Cut the crap, Renee,” is apparently what I needed to hear. Then Christy sort of threatened me, “Renee, if you have given up that means we are going to have a c-section. Or I can get Dr. Becker in here with the forceps.” Well, I wasn’t going to do any of that, and I think she knew it.

Triumph

“Okay, I am ready to go try that lying down position.” So we made it back to the bed and I received some instruction on how it was going to work. Lying down felt good. It felt like a big bear hug. It was the support I needed, because my arms, legs and back were so tired from all the work I had done already. I asked my husband to hold my leg and I gripped his other hand. A nurse reached over me to adjust something and gripped her hand too. People were talking to me and I am not sure what they said or if I replied. I was pushing again and this time I could feel things moving, so I kept pushing. The baby arrived screaming and pink. They threw her up on my chest and I rubbed her warm little body. I exclaimed, “Oh thank you, baby, for coming out!” Everyone in the room laughed. It was time to relax and enjoy this blessing.

Afterward Christy explained that Annie had come out the wrong direction with her forehead first instead of the crown of her head—or also known as sunny side up and military style—baby was stuck, but we got her out. The nurse said a lot of women cannot deliver a baby that way and end up with a c-section, and she pointed out that I did it without pain medication. Oh, another gold star for Renee. But, I really attribute getting this baby out to my midwife, because I was clueless and she just kept talking me through. My husband as cheer team was what got me through my giving up phase.

I gave myself a lot of gold stars there. And let’s be honest, I am the only one handing them out to me. In reality, women give birth in all sorts of situations. My labor to delivery was 16h30 and I was exhausted. But many of my friends have had a lot longer labors and a lot harder deliveries and my hat goes off to them. I cannot imagine labor for 24 hours or 36 hours. But women do and at the time, they have no choice but to endure. For me it seemed really hard in the end of this birth, but things could not have turned out better in the end. I am well and had no tearing. The baby arrived in good time and is perfect and normal.

I normally would not post such an unflattering picture, but I wanted to post my sweaty, matted hair picture, with my baby’s creased misshapen head (which looked normal within the hour) as my photo of victory. This is my triumph. This is me and Annie at the finish line.

All praise be to God.

She Is Born

Anne Michelle
September 25, 7 lbs., 19.5 in

“The Baby”
by George Macdonald

Where did you come from, baby dear?
Out of everywhere into here.

Where did you get your eyes so blue?
Out of the sky as I came through.

What is the light in them sparkle and spin?
Some of the starry spikes left in.

Where did you get that little tear?
I found it waiting when I got here.

What makes your forehead so smooth and high?
A soft hand stroked it as I went by.

What makes your cheek like a warm white rose?
Something better than anyone knows.

Whence that three-cornered smile of bliss?
Three angels gave me at once a kiss.

Where did you get those arms and hands?
Love made itself into hooks and bands.

Feet, whence did you come, you darling things?
From the same box as the cherubs’ wings.

How did they all just come to be you?
God thought about me, and so I grew.

But how did you come to us, you dear?
God thought of you, and so I am here.

Tot Talk: Come Out Now!

          Kristiana always sits and cuddles with me in the morning.  This morning she patted my belly and said, “Annie.”  I don’t think she knows there is a baby in there.  She has lead me to believe she thinks my belly is called, Annie.  She does the same thing to the lumps on my chest. ;-)

          After Kristiana had her moment with my belly, Alex said to me and said, “Mommy, I want to touch baby Annie.”

          “Okay, come over here.” He patted my belly and said,

          “Good morning, Baby Annie, I want you to come out now.”

          Giggles.  You said a mouthful, Son.  I have not been complaining about wanting the baby to be born in front of the kids, but we have been talking about the baby coming out and did tell Alex that she would come out this week.  The anticipation is even getting to the littlest ones.

May the Pot Boil Over

          The yard sale is now complete.  It was not quite as successful as I had hoped, but it  was not too hot (Praise be to God), I cleaned out a lot of things we do not use and I made a  small sum.  It was enough to purchase a bike for Alex, which we now hold over his head when he needs a little discipline.  Kristiana did not go empty handed.  She got to pick out a Thomas the train toy, because her brother gets really mad when she tries to use the trains.  She picked out a small purple train that talks and a car to go with.  Of course, Alex was jealous that her trains talk and his don’t, but I told him that he was not to touch her trains.  This is going to be hard for him to stay away. We are working hard on discipline with Alex.  He is a really good kid, but he’s got some bad habits that need to be dealt with.  He has a problem with being self-reliant.  He says, “I can’t” way too often, then whines, cries and has a meltdown.  We took Alex to a karate open house on Saturday and while they teach karate they mostly teach discipline to the little kids.  So, we have decided to go ahead with karate lessons looking on it as really expensive discipline lessons.  But, we figure that we will learn a thing or two as well.  If we can teach our eldest to be disciplined, then even if we cannot financially continue on we hope at least we will have all gained new knowledge of discipline.

         

          This is the chair that survived the yard sale and the post yard sale trip to Good Will.  I guess we will not need a new chair after all.  I am glad it survived, because we did not make enough to buy any new furniture and this would have only fetched another $15.  Surprisingly, our old VHS movies were a huge hit.  Everyone stopped to look.  So strange.

           Now that the distraction of the yard sale has passed, I am more anxious than ever to see this baby.  It seems as though the day will never come.  How ridiculous am I?  The due date is this week.  I can hardly bear the thought of going a minute past the due date.  My body is most uncomfortable.  I cannot sleep at all, which is also making me unstable and batty.  Today, even though I had hardly slept, I had to keep very busy so as not to fixate on the newborn sized baby inside my body.  And yet, I know the relief I desire from this discomfort shall only be replaced by the tribulations of caring for a newborn…But as my husband told me a week ago, “a watched pot never boils.”  Never?!  No, this pot is going to have to boil over soon!  Pray for me and the grace I need to come through this.

7 Quick Takes – Life is Ironic

I forgot how fun quick takes can be.

1. The yard sale is on! My husband, ah, gave me a stern talking to about all the stuff I have been stuffing into the guest bedroom.  On the weekends I have been particularly miserable about being pregnant and I have not wanted to go ahead with the sale, in the heat I might add. I was hoping to have a baby this weekend.  But I said, fine, I have not had a ton of contractions, so I think it’s pretty safe to go ahead.  So I went into full force yard sale mode, tagging, purchased an ad, and permit…cue contractions.  Yep, as soon as that permit was purchased I pretty much cannot stand up without feeling like I am going into labor.  I have been trying to lay low, keep my feet up, and canceling all other activities.  After all my longing for the baby to be born, I am now trying to keep her in until her actual due date.  Life is full of humor and irony.

2.  From dining room table to new house? After we bought our new dining table, some of our other furniture started to look really shabby and really inappropriate for our space.  I am also trying to simplify things and somehow that translates to limiting and replacing old furniture (when I say old, it’s no exaggeration).  I am, after all, trying to to make room for another person in our lives.  Along with our old table I am putting in the yard sale a couple of arm chairs and our coffee tables (the tables have been in a closet since Christmas).  Which helps the yard sale a lot, because furniture are always big ticket items.  We plan to buy Alex a bike with earnings. 

2a.  After assessing the furniture and the state of the economy, the size of our home per child and so forth, we determined our townhouse is too small.  We could buy a larger, new construction home, with a good first time home buyer deal and stay in Texas forever and forget about dreams of moving back to be near family where there are no jobs.  We went and looked at the homes again.  We first looked at doing this back in January, but the time was not right.  We are seriously trying to discern.  We know God brought us to Texas for a reason.  Pray for us.  This all started with one broken dining chair.  Life is ironic.

3. The kids have been sick! Which makes for no sleep for anyone.  They both came done with a nice respiratory cough, but since Alex has asthma that means difficulty breathing and round the clock nebulizer treatments.  It seems every fall we see asthma rear it’s ugly head.  After what we went through in his first year of life, if we only see his asthma in the fall, I think we will take it and not complain.  We’re just practicing for round the clock feedings.

4. Cravings – I did not really have cravings with the other kids pregnancies, aside from potatoes, but this pregnancy I have craved a lot.  Right now, I really crave fruit.  I have also eaten a lot of canned, smoked oysters.  Weird.

5. Exploding Pyrex – Has this happened to anyone?  I bought a set of pyrex dishes at Wal-mart a year ago (At a bargain price, I might add. Therein lies the problem.)  and one-by-one, randomly, these dishes have exploded after baking.  It makes a mess and destroys whatever we have worked so hard to make.  I am not exactly sure what the defect is with this set, but I cannot be the only one this has happened, because the whole set exploded one-by-one over the last year.  I should have thrown away the other baking dish after the last time.  I will not be buying pyrex baking dishes again.

6. Not a baker – This sort of a confession.  I am not a baker.  I can cook the finest gourmet meal topped with a perfect hollandaise, but I have never been very good at baking.  I can barely manage a decent cake out of a box.  If you ask me to bake something, it’s going to be burnt, dry, not quite right. :-( So why did I sign up to bring a baked good to my MOPS meeting this week.  Actually, coffee cake sounded really good to me and I thought I might be able to produce it.  When it came time to bake, I said, I am not a good baker and I am going to make the one thing I make well.  Scones.  But, I decided I would add cinnamon and sugar to make it coffee cake-esque.  The scones looked great.  I took them with some butter.  A spread and a cup of tea or coffee are essential with dry scones.  Lots of people took one, but without butter.  They didn’t get it.  I tried one after the meeting.  They were awful.  They were okay with butter, but awful otherwise.  I don’t think anyone knew they were mine, so here I am outing myself.  I promise to just buy the darn coffee cake next time.

7. Shoe Queen – The other day we were out buying Alex a new pair of shoes, because he grew out of his last pair.  Kristiana insisted she needed new shoes too, even though she doesn’t.  But she whined us into it.  Her joy at seeing the girls shoes was precious.  Whose toddler can talk them into a new pair of shoes?  She LOVES shoes.  Just get her shoes for Christmas.  We picked out a lovely pair to the tune of $13, which is really expensive considering the last pair I bought was $2 and she will grow out of them quickly. 

The next day we tried to put of Kristiana’s shoes and she started saying, “No, no, hurt, hurt.” 

“What?”  She had never said hurt before. “What is going on?”  The new shoes had rubbed big blisters on her heels the day before.  Ugh.  Hopefully, Annie will have different shaped feet and they won’t rub her feet.

Brimming With Hope and Blessings

           I felt compelled to speak more on this topic of having of children since I am simply brimming with the anticipation of new life in our home.  These topics come about more often in one’s life when you are with child or carrying around a small infant.  Quite a few of my friends are in a similar state at the moment.  Therefore in support of life, I have let some of my thoughts on procreation spill forth here to share with those who may need the support, and for one lady in particular who newly finds herself brimming as well.

          As I have said before, I am a proponent of staying out of other people’s bedrooms, since it is truly a prudential decision between you, your spouse and God.  But, here are some observations from my own experiences.  I do not purport that I know what is right for your own life and family.

          There are a couple of old sayings that come to mind when I think on having children.  Number one, “God will provide.”  This is not a foolish old saying, simply thinking that I need do nothing other than have faith.  There is a reason people say, “God will provide.”  It is because God does know our needs.  He is after all, all-knowing, all-powerful and always present.  Most importantly, God wants to give us all His love. This is all to say, financially speaking, is there really ever a good time to have children? Will there ever be enough?  But to say, “God will provide,” is a leap of faith not for the faint of heart.

          My husband and I had a child one and half years into graduate school.  It was a hardly a time, financially, to have a child.  But we realized that in the vocation of marriage that the secondary purpose of marriage is to be ordered toward life.  In fact, it was a very good homily on life and marriage that truly conceived our son.  It was the last catalyst we needed to hear to fulfill this part of our marriage.

          When our son was born, we struggled, but we grew in the Spirit.  Our son had trouble with asthma during his first year of life and was in the hospital a few times, but through it all God did provide.  We were not left with financially crippling hospital bills.  Hospital charity and St. Vincent De Paul Society took care of it for us.  We learned though we may experience trial and yes, even some suffering, this life we live is   not about dying with possessions, perfect bodies or money in the bank.  It is all about salvation and our children play into that.  Everyday we know that we would rather be penniless than be without our son, Alexander, because he has brought us closer to God.  He (and each subsequent child) has helped us love and serve the Lord. 

          Which brings me to the next saying, “The more the merrier.”  People scoff at large families.  People look at the high degree of organization and management large families must perform.  People see that large families go without a lot of the luxuries we have become accustomed to.  Yet more often than not people seem ignore the greater amount of love in those families; or that those family members have a greater sense of responsibility and service to each other than a smaller family.    Further, regardless of family size I have never heard a family member say, “I really wish Billy, or Sue were not born.”  I have heard parents say, I wish we had had more children, or I wish we could have more.

          As far as age and physical restrictions, obviously there are quite a few biblical examples in which folks gave birth to children in advanced age.  For me, this goes back to, “Is there ever a perfect time to add a person to your family?” The answer will always be a double edged sword.  One can always answer for oneself, “Yes, now and always. For the love of God is with us,” or “No, not quite now, because of x-y-z.”  I always have to ask myself, “Is x-y-z a good enough answer?”  I can always think of plenty of reasons of why yes it is and no it is not.  Nothing is without consequence.  It is truly another leap of faith.  But, I guess we have to trust that it is God’s will for us if we should conceive.  Too, I know that the Church does not condone contraceptive, even mental contraceptive.

           I have learned not to have regrets.  I do not want to get to a place in my life in which I regret not having more children, or regret not having spent enough time loving them.  So honestly, if someone says to me, I am not sure we should have a child, I wish I had another, or I am considering having another, etc.  I say, you should.  It is never too late.  “Children are a blessing.”  It is true, even in the greatest of suffering, children are a blessing.  More children are more blessings, and these blessings are carried forth into the world and bless others.  Therefore, the more blessings you have the more the world will be blessed.  We all carry God’s love.

These are my perspectives on having children.  It is not to say at all what you should do or what is right for your family.  But, I hope it is a good witness to the faith.