So I had a little/big emotional meltdown about a month ago, and thought “What the heck is going on? Something is not right.” The next day I said to myself, “The last time I recall crying like that was the day before we found out we were pregnant with Alex…Oh!?” Surprise! Baby Clayton #3 is due at the end of September. Joy!
I have been pretty excited about it. But, I have not wanted to say anything until I had the beautiful little picture above and saw the sweet baby’s heart beat. We told our families and some supportive friends. I think when I am pregnant the actual word appears written on my forehead, because people have started asking me about it. Of course, I did not deny it. But, I always get a little nervous to tell everyone until I see a little heart beating.
It’s been a fun month—a little nausea, major fatigue—but, all-in-all it has not been that bad. It has not been a picnic in the park for my husband. He has picked up a lot of slack. I am so grateful for his help.
More big news is that I am finally leaving work in one month to be a fulltime mom. This takes a lot of pressure off being pregnant, because I will not have to keep up with being employed fulltime, taking care of a home, loving my husband and children, and being pregnant! I just have to fight my way through the next month of work.
I always wonder what’s on the minds of all the other moms I see at our daycare. I just want to ask them, “Isn’t this hard for you. I feel like I am drowning! And our babies are here with all these strangers, we hardly know for nine hours a day!”
On to my next adventure of learning how to be a fulltime mom. Any helpful hints of what you have learned being a fulltime mom are welcome. I know its going to be hard—harder than being employed. There is going to be a learning curve. What I do on the weekends and evenings with the kids is not going to be the same as what I do every day with them.
My mom was a stay at home mom and I don’t remember her doing a whole lot with us. We played by ourselves or with each other most of the day. We went on errands with her. She would let us paint. We always had a great backyard growing up, and my husband and I don’t have a yard. So I think that essential element is missing.
I am excited to be raising my own children. After we had Alex, I had to go back to work and we all suffered a lot. I was really angry that raising your own children in America today is a privilege. I was really upset when we had to put another baby in daycare. But, it wasn’t really a choice for us—sometimes when you make your bed, you do have to lie in it a little while until you can afford a different one. Now we are at a place where we will have the privilege of raising our own children.
Blessed Theotokos, we magnify you, pray for us.