Think Before You Speak

Perhaps this is not something worth posting about, but I really cannot believe the things people will say to perfect strangers.  Since I am so obviously with child I have been getting questions about my procreations. 

When the children are not with me they ask, “Is this your first?”

“No, our third…”  All three are about two years a part.  No big deal.  Though challenging at times, aside from getting married, having children is the best thing that has happened in our lives.

If the children are with me, people usually call out even in passing, “Oh, well you’re going to have your hands full.”

I just reply, “Yep.” with a slight level of disdain.  Yeah, I do not really need folks to point out my hands are full.  I am quite aware that my hands are full.  My heart is awfully full too.

People also ask if we are done.  To which I reply, “We’ll see.”  I don’t usually take offense to this.  Everyone has their own beliefs on the matter and a natural curiosity.  It’s just natural small talk.  But personally, I really think, “None of your business.”  I mean what we are really talking about is a prudential, personal, perhaps spiritual, decision between a man and woman in the privacy of their bedroom.  Who are you to ask about how many and when?

I guess what really irked me recently was I thought I was in a safe environment in which I would not get these kinds of questions.  A woman asked me if this is my first and I said no that I had a three and a half year old son and a one and half daughter and this is our third child.  To which she replied, “Oh! Are you just getting it all out of the way at once.”  As if my procreating was too frequent and too much for her tastes.  Maybe so, but one shouldn’t assume everyone holds the same views on procreation as you do.  Do you think I walk around asking people what kind of contraceptive they use and then scoff at them when they give their answer?

My initial reaction was to drop my jaw.  Lady, did you just hear yourself?  Am I “getting this pesky thing out of the way?”  Is that what you did?  Do you view your children’s lives as inconvenient and you cannot wait for them to grow up?  Are those questions you want me to ask you?  But my audible response was, “No, kids don’t scare us.  We will see what the future holds.”  She responded by offering me her children.  I accepted her offer.  She was in disbelief that I would want them.

I know I am going to have to start getting used to this kind of behavior from the general public, since we have already achieved more than the average number of children allotted to the average American family.  I stare when I see a large family too.  I marvel at the parents skill in managing their family.  It’s quite a feat.  I will have to come up with some wittier responses to bold inquiries.  However, before you go asking people about what’s going on in their bedroom, think before you speak.