The Long Weekend - Journal Entries

Day 1 (Thursday) - I have a very sore throat; the glands in my neck are very swollen; the muscles in my neck are sore; I have a small lingering headache; I am all together tired and just try to motor ahead. I picked up Alexander from "day school" (as we all call it). He fell while running on the playground. He skinned his right thumb pretty badly. His caretaker, Maggie, said it was like the end of the world when it happened. Fortunately, it was not actually the end of the world. I looked at is closely, but all I could see was a bloody little thumb covered by a tiny band aid (weekend drama to ensue). We all enjoy a dinner out at the Cracker Barrel with Andrew's mom (all enjoyed, but Alexander, because he cannot sit still long enough to eat anything) . It's her last night in town. She came just to help us finish moving. It was a big job, but someone had to do it. And that person wasn't me. Andrew's mom is great at organization and motivation. I did not think that being 16-18 weeks pregnant would be such a hindrance on moving. But, I found myself to be just about useless. And then came this cold.

Day 2 (Friday, Independence Day) - We all got up early to take Andrew's mom to the airport. We were on the road by 7:15 a.m. (Andrew was up until 3:30 a.m. talking to best friend, Zane, on the phone; one last long chat before he enters the seminary). Before, leaving town we all had to get a cup of delicious Starbucks. Then it was a mad dash for the airport in Dallas. My throat is feeling a little better, but my sinuses are beginning to plug, which is a normal progression for any cold or sore throat that I have. In the past two years, since we moved to Waco, I have had a lot of trouble with my sinuses. It's time to nip this in the... We get to the airport just in time. We say our tearful goodbyes, Andrew tells his mom he is not going to cry, because he will see her in a week when he goes home for a wedding, then he sulked all weekend long. We stop for a McDonald's breakfast on the way out of Dallas and play on the coolest MickeyD's playground ever. We have to drag Alex away kicking and screaming. He then takes a long nap on the way home, which is a good thing and a bad thing. He is quiet and happy for the trip home, but it means no afternoon quiet time for us. When we get home Andrew cannot go on any longer. He takes a 2 hour nap. Alex babies his sore thumb/hand all day. It must hurt. Then we pack up our polish sausages and other food for an Independence Day cookout. It us being held in a nice shaded, courtyard. A like a good time is had by all, especially Alexander, who got really dirty climbing and playing all over the courtyard. He probably had the best time of anyone there. But, because he took such an early nap, he is super grumpy and tired by 8:30 p.m. I guess we won't be sticking around for the fireworks. It's okay though, because my sinuses are throbbing and I was feeling pretty tired from the heat and chasing around a toddler and from being 18 weeks pregnant. When we arrive home Alexander is wiped cleanish, no time for a bath, tucked into bed and Andrew and I sit down to watch patriotic television on PBS. It's good stuff--how they make fireworks, patriotic music and more. I was a little bit in and out of sleep.

Day 3 (Saturday) - My sinuses are burning, throbbing and all plugged up. I take the best over-the-counter sinus medicine on the market. No change. Such is my life. I am determined that things will get done today. I wake up Alexander. His sore thumb looks terrible. It's swollen, red, purple and yellow. It probably became worse after all the climbing and dirt from last night. I briefly considering finding out about the Saturday clinic at the hospital and then think this can probably wait. He babies his hand again all day, but this time I take special care to clean it, ointment and bandage it properly. He's tried to be a good sport about it, but he can't help a little screaming and crying. He hasn't been eating well lately. It's making Andrew and I a little mad and makes us feel like bad parents when he doesn't get enough to eat. He can't manage to sit still long enough to eat a proper meal. But, back to getting things done--I wake up Andrew and force him to get himself together for a day of studying. He's an adult. I can't tell him what to do, but he has got to be a serious student every day this summer. It has not gone too well, but he's smart and can still make it up. I get him in the car, finally, by 10:45 a.m. and drop him off at Starbucks (the grad student's office). I begin my errands. I go to Walmart looking for blackout shades for the sunny upstairs windows. They don't have exactly what I want. I do a little shopping, because there is always something one needs at Walmart. Then I drive halfway across town to JoAnn fabrics to get some blackout material. they give me a 40% discount on it for signing up for their mailing list. It turns out to be a fabulous deal and well worth the drive. I get home just in time for the "I'm hungry and sleepy and my thumb hurts" meltdown by Alexander. He was so tired and he seemed to be troubled by his thumb and therefore could not manage to keep himself together long enough to eat. But, considering how poorly he ate in the morning, I was determined to get him to eat something decent. He finally eats a cereal bar. It is not something I really wanted him to eat, but atleast he has something in his belly. I put him down for a nap and then go to work. I put up the curtains in the living room. Then I thought to get started on the blackout curtains. I cut them all to length, and pin the hem. After I figure out my bobbin winder, I finally hem one blackout curtain. I was pretty happy about it and thought that I could get all three curtains done before I had to wake up Alexander and go get Andrew. Three quarters of the way through the second curtain my needle broke for no reason. Nothing had changed between this curtain and the last. I think there is something stuck under the guide plate, but I didn't have time to check it now. I had to wake up Alexander and go get Andrew. Alexander was still sleepy, but a good sport about getting ready to go. I got to Andrew about 3:00 p.m. We ran some errands and bought some groceries for dinner. We now had just a couple hours to play with Alexander, tidy our messes, make and eat dinner and get Alexander back in bed, so we could have guests over for cards. It wasn't hard getting Alexander in bed. He was really tired for some reason--probably because of his sore thumb and not eating well and all the crazy fits he threw. Our guests arrive and we havea fun evening of playing cards (pinochle and spades). Andrew and I lose every hand, which is unusual for us. I am not going to point any fingers, but I will say, I don't think it was me ;-). By bedtime I was more stuffed up than ever and in lots of pain. But, I guess it was manageable. I take a bath to ease some aches and drift off to sleep.

Day 4 (Saturday) - We all sleep in. That's weird. It's almost 9:00 a.m. and I have not heard a peep from Alexander. He's fine. He's just simply sleeping in. Alexander's thumb looks no worse than the day before, but not exactly better. I continue to doctor it. He has taken to keeping his hand in a little loose fist and won't use that hand at all. He was a one handed wonder all weekend. My sinuses really hurt. It doesn't seem that any medicine is touching it. I am very concerned about not taking too much medicine because of being pregnant. I hope all the sinus medicine and acetaminophen I have taken hasn't been harmful to the baby. We barely make it out the door in time for church. At the church the "Cry Room" is already full at the beginning, because people keep bringing their whole families in there. It's not designed for that. It was designed for noisy little toddlers and one parent. We have a lot of toddlers. One family keeps coming in with both parents and all five of their children, all of which are old enough to sit quietly in church. I was more miffed than ever, because I do not feel well enough to be patient or charitable. Fortunately, Alexander has been quiet enough lately to sit in the church, so we sit in a back pew. But, half way through the homily he bangs his sore thumb on something, it starts to bleed and he starts to cry loudly. I have to carry him off to the "Cry Room." I consider going outside, but I know I will never get Alexander back in the church if I do that. I go in and sit on the floor, because there are no seats, and right next two boys from the family that annoys me so much. One naughty little boy keeps hitting his brother and saying things in Spanish. The parents do nothing. Did I mention they also had the grandfather in there as well? Three adults for one family in a room designed for eight or nine adults to sit and none of them do anything about disciplining the children. Like I said, I have no patience. I look the boy square in the eye, give him a crusty look, and say very sternly, "Stop it." I wasn't sure the child would understand me, because he had been speaking Spanish, but I am sure my body language spoke enough. He stops. I can tell either his parents let him do whatever he wants or he is the boss of them. After a little bit the boy walks away and quietly sits next to his parents on the floor. Good, I scared him and he is out of my hair. Alexander later walks up to the other little boy (who was probably nine yrs old) and slaps him on the back kind of like what the boy's brother had done. I discipline Alexander. That is exactly why other parents cannot let their children get out of hand, because toddlers do not know any better and will act that way too. As I approached the Holy Eucharist, I say as usual "Let this be not for my judgement or condemnation, but for healing of soul and body." As the Eucharist is placed in my mouth the words "for healing of soul and BODY" resound in my mind over and over. I get to the back of the church say a final prayer and exit the church. I cannot go back into the overcrowded, stuffy cry room and Alexander is still acting wiggly and noisy. We play outside a little until Andrew comes out. We go get pizza. Alexander will always eat pizza. I take more medicine. Andrew wants me to go to the doctor. I go to the cupboard and also take a leftover antibiotic prescription. I have enough for three days. It is probably a poor choice to not go to the doctor, but I hate my doctor and I hate missing work. After lunch, I send Andrew and Alexander on a nonsensical errand and steal the time for a little nap of my own. When they get back I have no choice but to do things with Andrew and Alexander and then finally put him down for a nap. Andrew and I grab a bowl of ice cream and collapse in the living room. We sit and watch a "Deadliest Catch" Marathon. My head pounds through it all. I don't want to wake up Alexander, but I want him to go to bed at a decent time too. I convince Andrew to come grocery shopping with me to get the week’s worth. While Andrew is in the checkout line I make a mad dash to the pharmacy. Breathe Right Nasal Strips catch my eye and I grab a box. Alexander and I play while Andrew puts together the grill I sent him to buy on the nonsense shopping trip. I make a little salad for dinner. Time flies by quickly. It’s time to put Alexander to bed. I haven’t gotten anything done all day. That’s okay. Just before bed I put on the nasal strip. It’s a God send. I can breathe. I still have lots of pain in my nasal cavity, but I can breath and that makes things more comfortable. I read a little then quickly drift off to sleep.

Day 5 (Monday/Today) - By morning I can still breathe. But, I still have pain. I take all my medicine all over again. Alexander thinks I look pretty funny with the nasal strip on. I took it off. He was grumpy this morning, but his thumb is starting to not look so infected. He also ate breakfast. I have some coffee and the pain medicine kicks in. I can still breathe and the pain is gone. I hope it will start going away. That’s the long weekend.

Renee's Wisdoms of the Day

1. You do not need to "win" to succeed.

2. In every action, pursue the good of the action--for then good will come of your actions.

3. Trust no one completely--not even yourself--we are all fallen and fallible creatures. You can only trust one so far as that one can be trusted.

Bad Mom Wrestles With Asthma and More

Asthma has reared its ugly head again. Alexander has had a little asthma flare up for the past week. It has been pretty manageable. He has been coughing and wheezing here and there, and he has really thick snot running out of his nose constantly. I think it’s an allergy to something, but I have been having trouble getting Alexander to take the prescribed allergy medication, because it has to be mixed in with food. It’s probably as much my fault as it is his.

Yesterday Alexander had a lot of wheezing and coughing. He seemed okay when we put him to bed, but he woke up a few hours later coughing and wheezing. We gave him some medicine. It partially worked, but we neglected to put him back in his own bed. He spent the night in our bed. None of us really slept well. He spent most of the night kicking Andrew and then kicking me, then groping my chest as though he were still breastfeeding. He always wants to snuggle up to me as close as he can get, but he doesn’t want any blankets, because he gets too hot with mom heat. Then of course, he was still coughing and wheezing and that kept waking us all up. It was quite a long and annoying night.

I should have just went downstairs to his breathing machine, given him a treatment, then slept on the sofa (the two of us) and woke up three hours later (or whenever he needed it) and given him another one. We probably all would have slept better. But, I was a lazy mommy (Andrew too). And the next time I complain about staying up all night with Alexander’s asthma, it better be because I stayed up giving him a lot of treatments, and not because I avoided giving him treatments and let him kick me all night.

In good news, I finally bought a nice clean cushion and cleaned up the glider rocker I salvaged from a friend--for free. This is good news for this tired, pregnant mommy. Yesterday, Alexander woke up from his nap, too early, coughing and wheezing, and he was grumpy. Andrew suggested I rock in the chair with him and he went back to sleep and we all had another hour and a half of peace and quiet. I would have been happy to rock Alexander back to sleep and put him back to bed last night in the middle of the night, but somehow I convinced my half asleep self that one, I needed to put my feet up on the rocking stool that I haven’t cleaned yet, therefore, is not in the room, and two, he would only wake up again, because he was still breathing hard. That should have been my sign to get my lazy bum out of bed and go give him a proper treatment as opposed the oral, syrup, quick fix we gave him that doesn’t quite work as well. (It was a bad mommy moment.)

For all those who have been asking, we have an ultrasound scheduled July 11th. Only two weeks away. If and when we find out the gender of our second little baby, we will properly inform everyone we know. No news yet, but thanks for asking.

Alexander's Summer Haircut - Updated

Saturday night, 6 p.m., Andrew decided it was time to go get haircuts for himself and Alexander. We drove to the hair salon only to find that it had closed at 6 p.m. I have been telling Andrew for probably a year now that we should do home haircuts. That night he was pretty eager to have Alexander's haircut. We went home and Andrew pulled out his beard trimmer, which is very much like hair clippers. But, we quickly discovered they did not quite work the same on hair as they do on beards. Alexander ended up with an extremely short, patchy, buzz cut. He looked a little like a neo-nazi, cancer patient. It had gone too far. There was no hope of fixing it. Our only hope was that it would grow out quickly, so that we could have it fixed at a later time.

Today in the middle of the afternoon I received a call from the daycare. I was immediately concerned Alexander was sick and would have to come home. But, it was Maggie his caretaker, she said Hope's mom was a hairdresser and she was getting off work early today and wanted to come and fix Alexander's hair. She said she would have it fixed in a jiffy. They wanted my permission to do it. I laughed hysterically, gave my permission, and asked them to thank Hope's mom. I told them that I didn't think it could be fixed without doing more damage. But, she managed to even it out and it should grow out nicely. So here are some pictures of our little baldy.

Fortunately, Alexander loves it. It's nice and cool for summer. This has not deterred me from home haircuts. I know we need to get a haircutting kit with clippers and hair cutting shears. I will probably cut his hair with scissors like I have done in the past.

P.S. I JUST ADDED A BEFORE SHOT, WHICH WAS TAKEN ABOUT A MONTH AGO.

Pray to Saint Adam

For the past two years since my brother's death, my dad has been collecting stories from people who said that they asked Adam to watch over them, or prayed to him, or said that he came to them in a dream and told them that he had helped them in a difficult or trying situation. At the time of Adam's death there was a strong belief amongst friends and family that Adam's work in heaven would be greater than it would have been here on earth.

Shortly after Adam's death a very holy man, a monk, told my parents that he was sure Adam was a Saint and they should start handing out to people relics, and tell people to ask for miracles through Adam. My parents have taken this very seriously. Sure enough, little by little people have come to my parents telling them stories of how they believe Adam has helped them. This is without my parents telling people to pray to Adam, or to report stories. The stories are a little more than coincidence.

If you are in need of spiritual guidance, a miracle, heavenly intervention, I encourage you to ask for help through Adam. If you receive the help you need, please contact me, so that it can be recorded. No prayer goes unanswered, no prayer is wasted. The grace is always there.

Enjoying The Coveted Stroller

If you look closely you can detect a little protruding baby bump. Click on the picture and you can see a little better.

Alexander’s Four Days Alone with Mommy

Andrew left town last Thursday to go to a “conference” in Mecosta, Michigan. Thus, Alexander and I were without the man in our lives for four days. I don’t know how single parents do it, especially with more than one child. We faired fine, but it’s all those little things I missed. It’s that one extra thing Andrew does when I call for help. “Oh my gosh! This diaper is so bad can you come get!” and “I’ve had enough with this child’s whining can you take him with you for a bit.”—Those little things.

I kept Alexander moving and hopping this weekend. Here are just a couple of our adventures.

Alexander discovered the joys of the spray park on Friday evening. For those who do not live in Texas where its hot 75% of the year—a spray park is a big glorified sprinkler. He wasn’t too sure about it at first. I held his hand and walked him up to one of the fountains to put his hands in it. The wind was blowing, so the water felt a little colder than usual. He thought that was interesting, but he was a little scared. So being a good parent, I picked him up by his hands and swung him through the water. Now he was all wet and bawling. I left him there cold, wet and scared to go sit on the park bench. He came stomping over to me, arms out stretched and a little shrill scream. I wrapped him up in his towel and he was content to people watch.

A little later he burst out of his towel and started yelling, hello to the baseball players in the field behind us. They were too far away to hear him. Then Alex proceeded to run up and down a little grassy hill. That was pretty fun for him. Another little boy, who looked about 2 years old saw Alexander doing this and joined him. Alexander thought this was great fun having someone following him. They began a game of chase and follow the leader. The other little boy wasn’t afraid of the water and led Alexander right into it. I think by this time Alex was feeling hot from all his running around. He enjoyed running through the water with the other little boy. From then on, Alexander was hooked. That night I had to dragged him away kicking and screaming--literally. We went to the spray park two other time during the weekend and he knew not to be afraid of it.

Finally, Sunday we woke up and Alexander was calling to me to come get him. We keep our bedroom pretty dark so I could not see very much. I went to the crib to pick him up and said, “Oh, you smell gross. Did you have a pooh-pooh?” Then I saw the back of his head and immediately turned on the light. He had dried vomit from the top of his head all the way down his back, and there was vomit all over the crib bedding. He had vomited sometime in the night and never made a noise about it. He probably just rolled over and went back to sleep. I was quite alarmed. I rushed him to the bath, because he smelled pretty bad and I have been extremely sensitive to odors lately. I washed his hair three times and after the bath it still smelled like vomit. I got him dressed. He wasn’t acting sick. We went to Wal-mart to get some pedialyte and applesauce. I kept him on the “Bananas, Rice, Applesauce, Toast” diet all day. I made him banana bread for dinner. He thought that was nice. He seemed a little extra tired all day, but he didn’t vomit again—there was a little stinky diarrhea. We skipped church, because I didn’t want him spreading whatever it was to the other kids and he needed to take it easy.

I was pleased to enjoy Alexander's many hugs and kisses all weekend long. It was definitely a more strenuous weekend without my handsome, loving husband around.

The Test Drive - Broom, Broom - Krrd der brr, Ching

I test drove my new stroller last night. It was great. It is a wonderful all-terrain stroller. There are practically no sidewalks here in Texas and lots of rough terrian. It moved over the field next to our apartment very easily. It was much better than the Graco travel stroller I have. Although, the Graco is extremely easy to open and close and it's bulky. As far as a piece of exercise equipment, the new stroller going to really aid exercise. It will work great for post-partum exercise.

I sat and played with all it's features last night. I broke sweat. It's not very user friendly as far as adjustments go. Although, having never used other jogging strollers before, I don't know if they have as many features, or are easy to adjust. I know that this stroller is an all-in-one. It has the all the features of a jogging and conventional stroller, plus, it turns into a double stroller. You can't beat having the option of having two seats or one. I will not always have Alexander with me when I go out to exercise, so it will be nice to just have a single.

All of my friends with two kids (all two of them) have gone through five or more strollers before they settled on one. Even my friends with one kid have gone through multiple strollers. They went through the single (when they had one kid), the umbrella for travel, the double conventional, the double umbrella, the single jogging, the double jogging, combinations of all depending on their need at that moment. My new stroller folds up small enough that hopefully it will eliminate the use of all other strollers.

Andrew does not like the construction materials. He says they look cheap. I do not totally disagree with him. I read multiple reviews online about fabric fraying in the first month of use and the company not replacing it--"normal wear and tear" they said. That's not good, and I am going to keep an eye on that. It says in the warranty to not contact the manufacturer, but retailer for this kind of thing and the reviewer seems to have contacted the manufacturer and then let the warranty run out.

A couple of things I like about the stroller is that you can adjust the handle depending on your height--that is one of the few easy adjusments. I like that you can lay the seat all the way down for a sleeping babe, when you are out and about long hours. Although, that is not an easy adjustment and probably will wake a sleep babe--not cool.

More Cons: It has a bunch of add-ons you can buy for extra, increasing the cost and in my opinion they should be included. For example, it does not have a cup holder, but you can buy one with annoying pouch for $50. I have to shell out $80 more for the doubles seat (I don't mind this one too much). You cannot attach your carseat to it unless you buy the $30 adapter kit and it looks like more annoying adjustable parts.

I will probably write a review for this stroller on amazon.com, but I am going to write it after our trip to New Orleans in late July--after I have had time to use it and abuse it--to give it a fair review.

Momnesia and the BIG Idea

I suppose this is not necessarily a mom problem, but I always come up with these brilliant ideas as I am drifting off to sleep and I always think that I must write them down in the morning. Then I fall asleep and can never remember what it was in the morning. I had one of those moments last night. I remember, I was praying, then I moved onto what I will do the next day, and then it came to me. It was so good I almost lept out of bed to go write it down, but Andrew still had some guests over, so I did not want to go storming through the apartment in my pyjamas looking for a pen and paper. As usual, I repeated it over and over in my head and said to myself that I must remember this for tomorrow.

As I sat down at my computer this morning, I sat perplexed and miffed. I simply could not remember what it was. Was it about religion, parenting, fertility, nutrition, health and fitness. Surely, it was more important than my usual mental haunts. It's just not there and I am pretty sure it was going to change my life and perhaps yours too. I will have to put a pen and paper beside my bed--maybe it will come back to me tonight.

I am telling you, one of these days I am going to come up with an idea that is going to deeply impact the world. It's in me somewhere and one day it will escape. I am not going to write some lousy best-seller, that is popular amongst the masses for one insignificant breath in time. No, it will be bigger than that. It will be bigger than a tsunami of destruction. But like a tsunami it will rush over the earth forever changing it and then the cosmos. It will touch the heavens. It will be a forever pock mark in time. The moment that Renee realized that idea. It will be why God created me.

(Did I hear a guffaw? Are you unsheathing your mighty B.S. smoting sword to burst my delusional bubble? Stop. Don't! It's only a dream from when I drifted off to sleep last night. The night before I dreamt all my teeth were loose and falling out...I get that one a lot.)

Enough day-dreaming. I am sorry I could not share my last Big Idea with you.

Baby Things

I have been day-dreaming about our new little baby. I have really been wanting to see my pregnant belly and wear maternity clothes too. I must have dreamed pretty well, because last night while I slept my back and belly muscles ached pretty bad. When I woke up this morning, I swear there is clear and visible pregnant belly. My body must have done a lot of stretching and growing last night. They say that the second time around you show a little sooner.

I have been dreaming for a girl, just because we already have a boy. I have two girl names picked. Of course, I am delighted for another child regardless of the gender. A lot of people have felt strongly that this time we will have a girl. Sometimes these things happen, in which people have a feeling and it is right. Quite a few people also told us that they had a dream that I was pregnant, before we announced it. Perhaps there is something special about this child. Our new child has certainly evoked people to feel his/her presence.

I received jogging stroller yesterday and put it together last night. I have yet to test drive it and that will tell me really how good it's going to be. However, every pro and con I read in reviews about the stroller was immediately obvious as I put it together last night. Mainly, it appears to be difficult to make adjustments. That may just take some getting used to. But, it is compact. I will have to let you all know how the test drive goes.

Update - Sarah's Visit

The coveted stroller is currently being shipped to me courtesy of my sister, Sarah. She is in town for a visit and she wanted to take Alexander for a walk this morning. She asked me if I had a jogging stroller and I said, no. She said, I thought you had one. Then she asked if there is one I liked. And I said, as a matter of fact, check out my blog (as I hopped around like little kid in the excitement over a toy I liked). But, I told her that I wouldn't get it, because it was too expensive. She said that she wanted to get me a baby gift for the new baby. And voila! the stroller is being sent to me. Woot! THANK YOU SISTER SARAH. Time to do some off roading.

Alexander was adorable this morning. We bought peanut m&ms for him so that my sister could be cool Auntie Sarah who gives him candy. She woke up and gave him some m&ms while I was in the shower this morning. He came running into the bathroom and did a little happy dance and gave the biggest smile I have ever seen, then ran back out. He didn't know she was going to be here. It was pretty funny. I have never seen him so happy before. He was smiling and running around all morning. I am sure he and my sister are best buds by now.

Tomorrow, Sarah and I are going to run a 5K together. Here's hoping I can run it, since I have been skipping the daily jog lately. Hopefully we will have a fun filled day and I will not get too tired.

Coveted Stroller

I do not normally covet. I was a very humble child. I did not want anything material. Okay, sometimes I wished I were prettier, thinner, etc. Back to coveting--I really covet this stroller (Phil&Teds Sport Buggy). I am so serious about this stroller, I keep thinking I want to put it on my credit card and pay it off later. But, considering that we already have credit card debt that we are busily trying to pay off, that would be wrong. Ergh, I want it to encourage myself to get out and get exercise on the weekends and during my impending maternity leave. I love that it can be a double or a single jogging stroller, and it is super light and compact. It is horribly expensive. I want it and I want it now! Alas, if I ever get it, I am going to feel guilty, because I coveted it and because it's so expensive. Will I condemn my soul if get this stroller?

Thoughts From Near and Far

I have spent the last three weeks in a baby-making, induced haze. Sleep, eat, sleep, eat, cry, vomit. I am finding it very difficult to get the normal tasks done. Yesterday, I found myself exiting onto the interstate in the complete opposite direction I was supposed to be going. I was distracted by a radio commercial--a man was talking about insurance while his wife was in labor. Several minutes later I was still thinking about it--well, really I was thinking about us having our baby--and the next thing I knew I was on the ramp to the interstate. It was a very confusing morning for me.

Alexander is talking more and understanding more. But, he does not talk regularly. There are several things he says over and over and we still haven't figured out what he is saying, but whatever it is he really means it. We loaded a couple videos of adorableness onto YouTube for friends and family. Yesterday, he was moved to the toddler room at daycare. I think, because so many of those kids are talking and talk well, that he will start talking more, just so he can play with them. He is definitely becoming a big boy and just in time.

Also yesterday, I asked Alexander where his toothbrush was (btw, it's lost) and he first started pointing toward our bedroom and then he took me into our bedroom, into the bathroom and point up at the sink where we normally keep it. At least he knows where it ought to be. I think potty training will not be difficult with him. He likes to learn new things and he is very helpful. I just think when it comes time, he will like the new task.

I suppose I should not banter away at such trivial things, when such horrible events are going on in the world right. The whole world is rapidly changing before our very eyes. I should mention the massive natural disasters in both China and Myanmar. When the tornado hit Myanmar, Andrew asked me if I had heard about and I said yes and proceded to point out that the aftermath was probably worse because they all live in weak, paper-like structures. They were not prepared for a tornado. He turned to me and called me heartless. He did not like that I did not first show sympathy for them. However, in the past week, I have to say I have felt much sympathy for them. It is a crime against humanity that the people should not receive the aid that is sitting right at their border. It is just plain sad. Feelings of sadness, distress and mourning repeat for those in China.

For now, I will leave it at this, "O my sweet Jesus, forgive us our sins, save us from the fires of hell and lead all souls to Heaven." If we cannot relieve the suffering, at least we can pray that it might lead us to Heaven. Amen.

This Week's Update - Big News for Those Who Haven't Heard

I am a little busy due to the upcoming board meeting for the executives at my business. I have to make sure all the all the grunt work gets done. I was ahead of the game, but I am not very interested in it, so I have slowed on my progress. I keep thinking that I need to do a stellar job, because well it's the right thing to do. So, here I am taking a little break from it all. For the time being, I am not doing my job.

I have found all things I normally do to be a little more cumbersome lately, because I am amidst the haze of pregnancy (7 1/2 weeks along now). I wanted to keep it a secret, but we had to tell our closest friends and family and it has just exploded from there. I told my boss when we were in a meeting because I kept feeling like I was going to vomit on her. Back to the haze. For almost a week I have had constant nausea, which I did not have when I was pregnant with Alexander. I have not "lost my lunch" yet. It's just been a really annoying constant sickness and gagging. Today, I finally had some relief; it's been short and sporadic, but relief.

I called my mom last week in desperation and gave her a list of things I needed from the local whole food store that I cannot get here. I requested natural, fresh ground peanut butter and ginger candy. Thankfully, my mom put together my care package quickly and sent it priority. I received it Monday. She added some ginger tea and "pregnancy" tea. Surprisingly, what has helped the most is the peanut butter and "pregnancy" tea. The ginger candy and ginger tea were both a bust.

I have also been exhausted and my thoughts have been cloudy. I have been falling asleep very early lately--not too long after Alexander's bedtime. I got home last night and realized the dishes had not been done since Sunday. The kitchen was a disappointing disaster. Fortunately, this will not last long. Exhaustion and nausea should end after the first trimester, which is only six more weeks.

I can't believe we are going to have another child. We definitely feel blessed. We are VERY excited for Alexander to have a sibling. However, we cannot help but worry about finances. We are beginning to drowned with the cost of living skyrocketing. I guess we will just be taking out more student loans. Maybe Andrew can teach on a Indian Reservation and have those loans forgiven.

Is the Pope Catholic?

I remember when Pope Benedict XVI was elected, a mere three years ago, there was some outrage from South America. They were disappointed that a South American cardinal had not been chosen, considering the numbers of Roman Catholics on that continent. They wanted a Pope who would represent the beliefs of the South Americans. At this point, I questioned anyone who would listen, “Is the Pope Catholic?”

How could people be outraged at the selection of a person who is known for upholding the tenets of our faith? Once elected, does a Pope have a nationality? No, the Pope stands for the Church. Why do people think that a Pope should change Church beliefs just because a mob of sinners think it should be so?

Matt Lauer cited several statistics, 2/3 of American Catholics do not prescribe to the Church’s teaching on divorce; 3/4 of American Catholics do not agree with the Church’s teachings on birth control; other statistics that were startling, which I did not catch the numbers, views on abortion, homosexuality, ordained women. Matt Lauer then asked, “How can Pope Benedict XVI address these issues with out being labeled a finger wagger? How can he get through to Americans without scaring them away?”

I do not think that Pope Benedict will, nor should he, “dumb-it-down” to be more sympathetic to Americans. To be honest, people like authority. People like to serve a noble cause. People want to hear truth, even if it hurts, even if it angers, because in the end, I think people want better themselves. People want to be good even when they do bad things. We are inherently flawed. It is a continuous journey to perfect ourselves.

The Pope IS Catholic, and the Pope wants us to be Catholic too. I ask you “Are YOU Catholic?” Pray. Confess. Act.

This Week - A Complete Analysis

To give you some background, Andrew and I have been enjoying the traditions of our faith this Easter season. It makes me so happy that Easter celebrations last as long as Great Fast. After the purging of sin during Great Fast, the celebrations of Easter seem more pure and holy than any other celebration. By Easter Monday, after having blessed celebrations Sunday, Andrew and I were more serious about our faith than we were even during Lent. I guess the procession of Holy Week and Easter Liturgy really awakened our sleeping souls.

By serious, I mean we decided that we were going to start living the faith more in our home. It was time to put our money where our mouth is. We decided we would go into a little debt (pay it off in the next couple of months) for the sake of our faith. We went to the internet and bought a Resurrection icon, so that we could more properly celebrate the season. We want to obtain an icon for every season, since the Roman Catholic church we attend is pretty barren. We also bought an censer and some incense, since this is also one of the things we have been missing. Finally, we bought 33 knot prayer ropes to help us pray without ceasing. We also ordered some icons, a set of theotokos and pantokrator, for our God-daughter, because as Andrew said, he wanted us to be seriously involved God-parents.

We have now received all the items we ordered. Last Friday, we received the icons and prayer ropes. The prayer rope has definitely changed the level of prayer in my life. It is always there on my wrist to remind me. Whenever I see it I say the Jesus Prayer as many times as I can at that moment, "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner." When I put Alexander to bed, I nurse him and lay with him a bit and say 100 of the Jesus Prayer. My goal is at least 300 a day.


When we went to New York city, our friend, Zane, took us to a beautiful, Eastern Christian style, Roman Catholic church. The Christos Pantokrator icon, of Jesus, in the apse, behind the altar, was incredibly soul penetrating. I keep thinking about the eyes. It's whole composition really made me think about who Jesus is. Now when I say the Jesus Prayer, I reflect on that icon. This as in depth as I can go at the moment, because I cannot tell you what is in my soul.

We received our censer yesterday and hopefully we can begin prayer with it tonight. It is a longstanding tradition to direct every sense we have toward heaven, toward God. It has been a very exciting and holy Easter season for us. We hope to learn more about the traditions of the Eastern Church over the next year.

God Bless. (The icon to the side is the one from the church and below is altar. Click on altar images.)

Alexander's Easter

1. Easter Dinner
2. Elizabeth (our God daughter) and Alexander in the background
3 - 6. Alexander and Andrew eating candy out of Alexander's Easter basket.
7. Playtime

EASTER

Please check out my friend's last two blogs about Easter. This is everything I want to say only better. Just click on the word Easter above. Tomorrow I will share some kiddie Easter pictures.

Battlestar Gallactica Junkies!

Woohoo! Season 3 of Battlestar Gallactica came in the mail today. It made my day, my week and possibly my month. It is just in time for the long weekend. I have not seen this season. I was left hanging early last fall at the dismal end of 2.5.

My boss came into my office and asked why I am grinning from ear to ear. When I told her, she began to chuckle and basically called me a big dork. Yay for Sci-Fi dorks!

Rain, Rain, Go Away

I would like to blog a while about my half fabulous, half flu infested trip to New York City, but I cannot just yet. I have to play a couple days of catch up at work, tend to household things, recover from aforementioned flu, and at some point find time to mind my religious duties of Holy Week.

So far, I have begun catching up at work and feeling better from the flu. However, I think I might need to take a break to build an ark, because Waco will surely flood in an hour or two and I will need to float home.

I could have used a pair of rain boots today considering the water is up to my shins. Our luggage from New York is "lost" and in my bag is a pair of boots pilfered from my friend's apartment, said to be abandoned. Hopefully I can enjoyed them before I drown. (Thanks for abandoning boots, Miss Joelle; I will appreciate them.)

Snow Day!

Here is a genuine picture of Waco, Texas from this morning (courtesy of Waco-Tribune Herald).

I let out a most annoyed and annoying groan this morning as I opened our front door to leave the apartment. I have become too accustomed to the warmth of Texas weather. After taking a moment to examine the car and I realized that my car was covered in three inches of snow, I flew back in the house and yelled to Andrew in a sufficiently crabby, nagging voice, "Where is the snow brushy, scrapey thing!" He was not pleased; I was not pleased! I found it and did the scraping, brushing thing. The roads were not too slick and I arrived at work only four minutes late.

Alexander was just precious with the snow. While I was opening the car door, he had to escape my grasp to go touch the snow. Then he came running back over to me to wipe it off his hand. He did not like the cold, messy feeling at first. Then when we arrived at "Day-school," I made a little snow ball with the remaining snow from the car. I put it in his hand and he crushed it. Then he looked up at me with twinkling, happy eyes. These are the moments that make it all worth it. If you do not have kids, you just don't know what that little innocent face can do to you. It really put things in perspective.

I am glad that his preciousness and innocence makes up for it, because I have to say, this weather really got to us. We turned on the heater and it must have dried us out, because we were all coughing, especially Alexander. He coughed all night and nursed all night long. By 5:00 a.m. I was tired, warn out and sore and I could not do it anymore. Andrew tried to help settle him, but he kept on crying. We are all very tired today. We still have much to do to prepare for our trip to New York and Andrew booked us a room in Dallas for tonight, which means driving late tonight. I'm sleepy already. It's going to be a long day, today and tomorrow. Pray for us to be patient.

Go Away T.V. You're Not Welcome Here Anymore - "I am So Over You"

I think I was a better writer in 2007. I went back to look at some of my blogs, though there are some mistakes, I found some of them quite profound and eloquent. I used interesting phrases and big words. I feel stupid now. Who was that writing on my blog? It is sad that I am not more eloquent now.

I must have been reading better books then. All I have been reading for the past three months are parenting books. Parenting books are written pretty simply (third grade level). I do not know if I am getting anything new or non-intuitive from these books. I am going to finish the three books that I have now (I have a thing about finishing books, even when I don't want to--long story) and then I do not think I will read any more parenting books. My sister gave me one called Parenting With Love and Logic. I will not be satisfied until I know what this book has to say.

Parenting is a lot of trial and error (and prayer), because you are dealing with young, inexperienced humans. A lot of parenting has to do with confidence in how you discipline (=to teach) and changing it if it does not get through to your child. Of course, I am no grand master at this parenting thing as I have fumbled through in the dark. (Yeah baby! I rock! Go Moms! You rock!) But, Alexander is still alive and well. I think that I have done an okay job with him.

I think I need more practice. Better get working on children # 2 through 8. I should read better books too. Step One: Cancel the cable. Andrew, I don't know why you care so much if I cancel it. You hardly ever watch T.V. I bet you thought this blog was going to be all about T.V.

Interesting

www.Godtube.com

Sexy Soccer Mom Hair

The Nun in Me

Well, I cut my hair short last night—real short. It’s a bob. I was attempting a Katie Holmes look, because while I know I do not really look like her we do share a lot of similar features: dark hair, big eyes, big eye lashes, long jaw line, goofy grins. I went to Great Clips, because I am cheap. It did not turn out to be such a cheap hair cut and she did not really do what I asked. I took in a picture of Katie Holmes from a hair styling website and right below it said to ask the hair stylist for “a wedgey bob with layers for volume.” So that’s what I asked for and she did her own thing anyway. One, it really is not wedgey at all. It’s just short and kind of boyish. She cut icky bangs in front. She said she was going ot frame my face. Why do stylists always want to do that to me? Stop cutting my hair short in front! I did not even know she was doing it until it was done. She tried to tell me that the cut Katie Holmes had was a straight cut bob. (She had given me an unattractive bowl cut.) I was really polite and said, “I think I really want it shorter in back," (to complete the wedgey bob look). It came out shorter than I intended, but I can work with it. After some styling this morning it is more Katie Holmes-esque. It will grow out pretty cute. It’s pretty cute today anyway. I got the name of a stylist who guarantees a wedgey bob—next time! I was just hoping to look really chic and sexy for our trip to the Big Apple next week. I think I look like an adorable, soccer mom. C’est la vie. Est ce ce que vous obtenez quand vous êtes bon marché. (That is what you get when you are cheap. Although, Bon Marche literally translates as "good buy" and this was not a good buy.) I will try to provide a picture for those who are curious.

The blog helps me get annoying thoughts out of my mind—like an obsession to get a chic, wedgey bob. I should have blogged about it, then maybe I would have not gone to Great Clips...Na, just kidding my cheapness will not go away. Even when I was a little kid I was cheap. I remember doing all sorts of weird cheap things. It is not that I am afraid to spend money. I will spend with glee. I just have to feel like I am not spending too much while I do it. Or, I have to know that I “need” it and not “want” it.

I think what created “Cheap Renee” was my second grade year in school. I went to a poor Catholic school and my grandmother moved in with our family. The Catholic school was run by nuns and they had all grown up in the Great Depression Era. The principal, Sister Katherine Mary, was over six foot tall. She grew up with six siblings all large/tall girls. Needless to say, feeding six large girls during the Great Depression was an impossible feat. They went hungry a lot and eventually their parents shipped them all off to convents just so they could be fed (probably not just to be fed, but that was a major factor). Sister Katherine Mary taught us all a lot about appreciating what you have and not wasting. No student could leave the lunch room without finishing their entire lunch. There was very little waste. After the Thanksgiving holiday she collected turkey carcasses from parishioners and the students’ families. She and the other nuns would pick meat off the bones, so they had meat and again, no waste.

While Sister Katherine Mary was making a huge impression on me, my grandmother, who also grew up in the Great Depression, moved in with my family. The way she lived and acted and the lessons she taught us were very similar. She taught me to only take what I needed and not anything more. Combined these two women taught me to never ask for more, because I did not need it; I have so many things and blessings. It is very easy to live happily on very little. It is very hard to want much and have much. I could go on and on about these lessons on need and want. The point is, there is a little voice in the back of my head saying, “You don’t need it.” and, “Less is simpler.” "Don't spend too much." Simplicity is one of the ways to get closer to God.