To start: Here’s a shout out to Sarah in Afghanistan. Give’em hell! I hope your living arrangements get to be better. Your movies will be on their way shortly.
Stop reading here if you don’t like complaining…
I am feeling a little miserable. She’s all cramped and kicking hard for more space. I have had lots of contractions, which are not painful, but uncomfortable. My motility is really bad, i.e. it’s hard to get up and my waddle is profound. :-( It feels like my bladder is perpetually full. I promised myself I would never get swelling, because despite what people say that is not normal. Yesterday when I left work, my shoes were tight!—more water and walking, please.
It’s awful to say, but at this point in pregnancy, when pleading for it to be over, I know why people say they only want to have two/three children (or when they are up all night puking, or when you realize how expensive they are, or that you can invest more time in their care and upbringing the less of them you have). I will conveniently forget these feelings in a year, or so, because as far as I can tell, “the more the merrier,” despite all the trouble to rear them.
And despite my misery, I firmly do NOT want this baby to come now. First, the midwife leaves town tomorrow for five days. I went through all the stages of grief about her possibly not being here for the birth. I thought I was over it, but the more miserable I become the more I wish she were here. Second, I now have four days off work and I plan on spending a majority of that time resting. And I really want that rest, because I know I will enter the land of the living dead as soon as this little one is born. Then, I think I will be far more miserable.
I did not sleep well last night. I woke up at 4:00 a.m. cold and my sinuses hurt quite a bit, so I did not fall back asleep. It was time to get up to start the daily routine about the time I felt like I could go back to sleep. I took a long, hot shower, cleared out those sinuses and sore muscles and got on with it (though still miserable).
Alexander was pretty sweet and well-behaved this morning. He sang the hot dog song…you’d have to be there to know how cute that is. I hated to have to take him to daycare. It would have been nice to go back to sleep for a couple of hours and wake up to sweet husband and son playing. But, I had some work to finish up before I go on leave.
I do not plan to be at work next week. I think the baby is no more than a week away and depending how I feel, I may not go to work next week. However, chances are that after a few days rest, I will not have the baby and will feel much more up to going to work. I still stick by that all signs point birth happening in no more than a week.