Sunday, January 24, 2010

Gong Show With a Side of Delicious

Wow. In the span of 48 hours, life has been a roller coaster.  I personally experience a wide spectrum of emotions.

Friday I “felt” as though the world was crushing in on me.  I probably would have been better left alone that day.  Right from the start this was horrible day.  Kristiana had been throwing up all week.  She doesn’t seem sick other than some congestion and sporadic puking.  I have suspected food allergies, such as lactose intolerance, expect we don’t believe she has had any lactose all week.  So I am stumped—not to mention the laundry that she has generated.  I have been puked on more times than I can count this month.  It is clear something is not right.

All night long Kristiana had woken up with an apparent tummy ache.  Then she woke up at 6:30 a.m. with the worst smelling diarrhea.  But, still her demeanor was been normal.  So I sent her to daycare and went off to work.

I skipped breakfast and was running on coffee and adrenaline.  I was scooting along fine at work, but by lunch I was starting feeling emotional. I had little sleep and nothing in my tummy and well let’s be honest my hormones were not on my side either.  I could see the walls crumbling—my baby’s sick, my stomach is empty, my hormones are on overdrive, I spent my lunch hour crying and all week long my husband and I have been trying to decide if we should dive into the biggest financial decision of our lives and buy a house (which that does not seem to be working out)—and now it was time for my yearly performance evaluation!

100_1797I went home depressed.  My husband does not respond well to my sadness.  He gets really depressed and angry about it.  I ate through my sorrows.  I ate some leftover pasta and that seemed to comfort me.  We had a friend coming for dinner and we were going to do a little French cooking.  I made poached tilapia and steamed broccoli with a parisienne white wine sauce.  All of this kind of forced us to move away from our mood.  I was in a peaceful place while cooking.  By the time we sat down for dinner, it was late and I was exhausted, so was our guest.  It was a short and quiet dinner party. 

Around 9:30 p.m. I took a bath (after Kristiana puked on me, it’s a nightly thing now) and read My Life in France by Julia Child.  I received the book for Christmas. Every time I read it, I say I am going to France.  She definitely brought her time in France to life in this book.  After my bath, I settled into bed for the night.

Saturday was a day of joy.  The children were content (despite more puking).  The chores came easily.  The world seemed clear.  Hopefully the clarity and calm will continue.

100_1801 Sunday we enjoyed perfect Eggs Benedict.  You may be wondering why my eggs are so round.  Julia said that a good substitute for a poached egg is a six-minute soft boiled egg.  Since I still have yet to properly poach an egg, I was relieved to find this substitute.  It WAS the perfect substitute, and I could easily become addicted to soft boiled eggs. 

All this makes me feel a lot like Julie Powell from Julie & Julia.  Renee feeling frustrated, knowing I am so much more, reading about the life of Julia Child, learning to cook French and redeemed by amazing food.  There is something redeeming about the artistry in life.

Now let a sleepy afternoon commence.  Pray for me in my craziness. I need to relinquish all to my Creator.  Pray for Haiti (so much more important).

2 comments:

Anne said...

Evaluations = sucky (all the time)
sick babies = no fun and so sad :(
Saturday Joy = God's little way of cheering you up :)
Your food = definitely delicious.

We couldn't be happier! Lots of love to your sweet family :D

Michelle M. said...

I have been feeling a bit the same. I have been wanting to blog about it, but I feel so far behind on my blog right now that I dont even know where to start.

I hope that things are better/less stressful and that your evaluation went well.

If you are going to buy a house, do it soon so that you can get the money back from the government. We missed the window by less than a year- totally depressing! I hope everything goes well with that.