Monday, September 19, 2011

A Blessed Growing Family

While I was still a working woman and I discovered that we were expecting a child (and then another child and another), I felt a sinking feeling, a feeling of shock, a feeling that things were out of my control.  I felt this way because I was working and I knew I would not be caring for my children myself and my already minuscule salary needed to stretch even farther with another mouth to feed and a husband in graduate school.  I knew that somehow we would make it work, but it did not stop me from feeling remorseful and tightly wound.  I always hated not being able to give 100% to my employer as well, because I needed to be with my infants.

With the news that we were expecting a third child, we discussed and determined I would turn in my resignation.  By this time my husband had secured full-time employment with benefits.  My shock of pregnancy turned to pure joy and awe.  Finally, I could look forward to spending endless days enjoying my children and raising them in the way of the Lord.

Now we are expecting our fourth child. This announcement is perhaps a little premature as most wait until the second trimester to announce.  However, that has never been our mode of operation.  We are ecstatic.  We cannot contain how we feel.  We also seek the support of our friends and family as they join us in prayer and hope along with us.  We are also proud to now be considered a large family--our legacy grows.  Yet, we do feel a sense that we need to tighten our belts.

I was grocery shopping and having a small amount of difficulty with my three little ones who are all under the age of five.  It is somewhat difficult shopping with three kids, but I feel most of the time I have it under control. I was thinking at the time that there was no way I was going to be able to shop with all my kids like this once there are four.  How would I keep them all contained and peaceful?  I will have to leave them home on a day my husband does not work, or go late after they have gone to bed.  This simply will not work.  Then a woman rounded the corner with five little ones in perfect order (I thought. I am sure she felt differently). Wow, thanks for putting me in my place, Lady.  I almost chased her down and thanked her for showing me how it's done and ask her about all the coupons clutched in her hand.  Sometimes the Lord shows you what you need to see.

I am sure I will have more updates as this pregnancy progresses.  So far so good.  I am battling first trimester fatigue like a warrior.  I am usually a big complainer in the last trimester.  But perhaps this time around I will finally learn the virtues of the Holy Mother, learn to dumb my gripes and have peace and patience.  Is it not amazing that our labors and suffering is what makes us grow, shine and blossom and finally, finally reach our full potential? Oh how blessed we are and what a journey we are on.

It feels good to have that off my chest.  Now, I can spill all the thoughts that are overflowing in my head. ;-)


Kacy said...

Congratulations, Clayton family!! I love keeping up with your adorable family on the internet. I do pray for y'all on occasion, but I will make a special effort now. :-)

And I love the skirt you are wearing in this picture, so twirly and feminine.

Michelle M. said...