Surrender

By Renée Clayton

All my worldly trappings bound me
To a life of ugly falsity
My mind and body anguished
Nothing could set me free

I sobbed in remembrance
Of a youth so unencumbered.
I longed for those days.
Life seemed truly simple then.

I called out to my Maker,
Asked to be directed to the Light
All I heard in return was
The quiet, quiet, night.

Angrily I questioned His existence—
Or had I been forsaken?
Had I let my soul be evilly imprisoned—
Or was there even a soul to be taken?

Suddenly, in this hot, whirling fury
Of thought and emotion I remembered,
Faith like a child.
I said farewell
To things that had kept me—
Then I surrendered.

I numbered the things I clung to so dearly—
Goodbye family, goodbye wealth, goodbye health.
These things were not mine—
Provided to me by Holy happenstance.

I accepted my place.
Creature enslaved to my creation.
I surrendered the trappings
That had caused my ugly conflagration.

The Dawn had come,
The tempest inside of me had subsided.
I Glorified the Lord for what he had provided.

Then I said once more
As I stepped out into the day Light,

I surrender.