A Crown of Thorns

I woke up to a puking child this morning.  It was too early.  Then I started to fall asleep again and another child came poking me and asking me very loudly for a baba.  I did not get very much sleep two nights in a row.  So as I started the day I was very crabby and on edge.  Then someone spilled cereal in the living room after all the children were repeatedly told not to bring food into the living room.  Then the same child got angry at her cereal for being soggy and dumped it on the floor in the kitchen...It was destined to be a terrible, horrible, no good very bad day.

Then my toddlers were very naughty at church today and they were very, very naughty at the post office.  But they helped me make a neat crown of thorns bread I saw on the Catholic Icing website.  I used to hate it when kids would help me make food, because they would always make more mess than it was worth.  Or would want to do everything even though they could not physically help with all parts.  These two girls though want to help me everyday. They listen, take turns and do a very good job.  I envision two teenage girls someday who beg me to let them make dinner.

I was so happy about my crown of thorns bread, I had to complete the picture.  I brought out the children's picture Bible and turned to the story about Christ being tempted in the desert to explain the lenten fast.  We read the story while they ate.  We had lentil soup and bread.  Then I put a tablecloth on the table, which I never do these days for one simple reason: it would never stay on with my very silly little girls.  Dinner would be dumped on the floor before I could say, 1, 2, 3.  But after a hard day of disciplining one naughty child in particular, I was going to have order; I was going to have a tablecloth.  In a crazy, mommy moment, I stapled the tablecloth to the underside of the table with an industrial stapler.  It's a plastic tablecloth.  I can wipe it down.  I told my husband to get used to the tablecloth, because its stapled down.  For the moment, I'm pretty pleased with myself.

I could see that this day was a spiritual test.  It was a trial.  I'm not sure how I did, but I made it through.  It was not as terrible as it began.  I hope my kids learned something about how they ought to behave.

Mno Hiya Lita!

Fish Fridays

I don't think many Catholics know that we are still supposed to participate in fasting every Friday of the year and not just Fridays during Lent.

In the Eastern Catholic and Orthodox churches we are meant to fast on Wednesdays in reparation for Judas' betrayal and on Fridays in communion with the Passion of Christ.

I think, however, Kristiana is in my court.  She loves fish like I love fish.  Especially, salty, yummy, canned fish.  It's not really a penance if you love it.  I have to sacrifice this luxury as well.

Kristiana begged me to open this can of kippered herring for her.  She then proceeded to scarf it down.  It cracked me up how fast she ate it and how much she loved it. I had to take a picture.

She's Found Her Calling

When our son, Alex, played on a little league t-ball team years ago Annie was a mere one years old.  But she kept running onto the field trying to get into the game.  Now Annie is four years old and she is finally old enough to play t-ball.  I signed her up weeks ago and she has been asking daily, "Mommy, when I go play t-ball?"

Today was her first practice.  She hit balls from the tee; practiced catching and throwing; and ran the bases with speed.

She was quiet, reflective, taking it all in, with a smile.  You could see she was concentrating on learning the game.

At the end of practice she did not want to leave.  She said, "Mommy, why do those mens get to stay?"

I explained that they were the coaches and they were packing up.  She said, "OH, I want to be the coach.  I want to stay."  Then a little bit farther down the road she said, "When I grow up, I'm going to be a girl coach."

I was so happy, and proud for Annie.  She said it with convection.  "I'm going to be a girl coach."  I knew she was an athlete in her heart.

When Does It Go Away?

So I've been wondering when I will stop feeling pain over the loss of Xavier.  I have anguished over missing this baby who would never be mine to hold.

I accepted his loss too soon.  I told myself its okay.  "Not now."  Everything that comes to me is in God's hands.  I did not realize how I would long for him in the months to come.  So I've had my meltdowns; and I've confided in others; and I'm learning it does not ever go away.  I might think on it less.  But I might also have a cry eight years from now.  I guess this too is a part of motherhood.

A child stays in your heart forever--one that was in the womb; one that breathed one breath; one you held for three years; one you loved for all the rest of your days.

So the answer is, as I am told, this pain will not ever go away.

Most days have been good, but Xavier is never far from my thoughts.  

Tea Flowers

We held our first Little Flowers Club Badge Ceremony and Tea.  It was a lovely little party: very girly and very holy. 

There was so much hope in this room.  I definitely felt that everyone in this room could one day be a saint.  Especially, the little girls.  I'm praying for you, little ladies.  Stay pure, stay faithful.  You inspire your mommas to be holier for your benefit.

I was only able to take pictures with my phone, since my husband borrowed my camera to take pictures in Washington, D.C.  I did not check pictures after I took them and I am sad to say most came out blurry. :-(

I tried to pick pictures that did not have the faces of other peoples' children.  But, did want to show a group picture.

Mno Hiya Lyta!

Play Date with a Chicken

Our friends invited us out to see their chickens and baby goat, and scamper around their 13 acres.  The kids lost the mommies on the trail.  We all had fun.  My son brought home piles of junk found around the property.  He brought home cow bones, and rusted metal things, and a catchers helmet. Whoa! Cool!

See Alex's pile of junk.  He let his friends take home some of it, because this momma wasn't taking all of it.

Dog Love - This was a very sweet Anatolian Shepherd who was guarding the chickens.
I was impressed he was not eating the chickens.

Mno Hiya Lyta!

Not a Baby - My Big Girl, Lucy

When did this little girl grow old enough to play a game between dolls by herself; and use the toilet on her own; and recognize her own name written upon a page.

But she still lets me cradle her like a baby.  I'm pretty sure all my children, including my eight year old boy, still want to be cradled like a baby.

Lately, Lucy has been kissing everyone...a lot. She also kisses a lot of inanimate objects: the wall, the table, the car, toys.  I'm sure this is just a phase, so I wanted to document this sweetness.

Lucy Kissing Her Sister, Kristiana

Lucy Kissing the Wall

But, as you may have noticed, like a typical two year old, she does not wear a lot of clothing.  She keeps taking off her clothes in favor of just a tutu and underwear, or just a swimsuit.  At home, I have stopped fighting it, as long as she has something on and is not totally naked, or else fighting it would be all I was doing.  Of course, I have stressed the importance of clothing in public.  She "got it" after the first time she tried to go out in public in tutu and underwear.