My Gripe About Coupons

Coupons, I know they have value when you live on a budget, but I have several reasons why they do not work for me:

Coupons are usually for products I do not use, or use rarely.

When it comes to groceries I usually buy a lot of whole foods. They don’t make coupons for tomatoes, zucchinis and cage free chicken eggs. I usually see a lot of boxed dinners and air freshener coupons (go figure, coupon clippers must be stinky people or they wouldn't peddle the coupons).

Further, coupons are usually for brand named products and I usually buy a good quality generic brand. The generic brands are still cheaper than a brand name bought with a coupon. For example, diapers–it is still more expensive to buy pampers or huggies with a coupon than to buy the store brand.

There are a couple of products in my home that are worth getting the top brand with a coupon, for example razors and household cleaners. However, I buy those things infrequently, or I can buy them bulk.

I use coupons on occasion when it is something I use and I happen to have a coupon on hand at the time of purchase. However, my time is already so full I usually do not have time to go hunting for a coupon for a $2.00 tube of toothpaste for which if I then bought three tubes I could get a $0.55 discount via coupon. The time spent hunting for the coupon usually amounts to more than the coupon is worth.

On the other hand, our local grocery prints store coupons when I check out. When purchasing certain products, I may get a coupon for the exact same product like yogurt or toddler snacks. If it is a product I use, it is usually a pretty good deal. However, the drawback is the coupon is often a short term offer and expires before I get to use it.

Coupons expire! Again, I do not have time to keep track of which ones are going to expire.

Perhaps, I do not want to do business with a company that does not pass the savings on to consumers every time I purchase the product.

I have a feeling a few of my reasons may be why a lot of people do not use coupons any more.

I feel better now that that is off my chest.

Easter

Here is a picture of our Easter basket. We are missing the Eastern Easter chants.

By death, by death, He conquered death. By death, by death, He conquered death.

And to those in the graves, and to those in the graves.

He granted, He granted, He granted

Life.

JBF Sale Waco (Review)

Over the past weekend, I had kind of a BAD EXPERIENCE with the JBF (Just Between Friends) Sale. To start, there was somewhat lack of information pre-sale. I went to the internet and was able to get most of the information I needed, but some of the most vital information was not there, like the process of what will happen when you go to drop stuff off.

This time the owners reduced the amount the consignor receives at the end of the sale. They used to give 70% to the consignor. This time it was 65% and on top of that they charge a $7.00 flat fee for processing. “Hey, y’all I thought that is why you take a percentage!” Further, they have consignor volunteers work the entire event, so they are taking fees and making you do all the work. They do give the volunteers 5% back on their sales, but I am pretty sure that it is hardly worth the 5%, since you have to work in 4 hour shifts.

Depending on how much you sell they take another percentage of it through their processing fee! If you have a lot to sell, this may not be a big deal—you are probably just happy to get rid of your stuff. But, I am not made of money, I don’t have a ton to sell, so it takes a nice chunk out of my sales. I probably would not care about the 65% if they did not take the extra processing fee as well. This time around the $7.00 fee took an additional 22% of my sales! I will not be consigning with them again.

My BIGGEST PROBLEM this year was that most Moms WAY overpriced their goods. I suspect because of the increase in the consignor fee. My approach was to price it at the recommended 1/3 original purchase price,. I did not want it coming home. I discovered in previous sales, if you price it at ½ the purchase price, or put a do not reduce star on it, then it does not sell. So far I have never sold anything with a do not reduce star on it. That does not mean my stuff did not sell on regular sale days. In fact, a majority of my stuff sold at the original price.

I have been able to buy good things at the JBF Sale before, but that was when people priced more sensibly. That is fine if they want to do that. That is the point of a free market right? The long and short of it for me is I SIMPLY WON’T GO ANYMORE, or I will not buy your stuff. I can buy new stuff for similar prices—stuff I know will not wear out quickly, or break. This is a call to moms who do this sale to price things better. Don’t price for the half price sale. I guarantee you will sell more at regular price if you price well.

SOME GOOD THINGS ABOUT THE SALE

I have told all my friends that the only reason I keep going for is SHOES. The shoes normally are not priced too high. If they are priced too much, I do not buy them. But, my son goes through shoes so quickly, that it’s a pretty good deal for me. I picked up two pairs for him at the first night presale. They were in really good condition—almost new. If I had bought them in the store, I probably would have spent $50.00 or more (they had characters and lights on them). But, I picked up two pair for $8.00 total. So Moms, keep bringing in those little boy shoes.

I also must say that the vendors were great and their prices were reasonable—especially the lady with the bows. I wish I had picked up a card from her, because I did not get back to buy any bows.

I liked the new location at the convention center. The room was a little difficult to get to.

Each sale is different, so I am hoping my little review will influence the next one to have better prices, and just be better in general. I am definitely not putting my things in it for sale anymore. It is not worth it FOR ME (That’s just a little note to moms who don’t have a lot to put in, or a lot of time. Some people have lots of stuff to put in and a lot of time to prepare their stuff and volunteer). But, I guess I will go back to look at the shoes again.

Conversation Points

How ‘bout them Zags?

They’re doing well this year. Let’s break the cycle boys.

Facebook Hiatus

I hate to be one of “those people” who need to do something like this, but when you are defeated sometimes you have to be the bigger person. So here I am saying it out loud, Facebook defeated me. Last week in the midst of Lenten fasting, I found myself more obsessed with Facebook than ever. So, I am taking a break. I have not logged in since last Friday. I plan to check it once a week on the weekend. If you need to urgently contact me, call my cell phone; it’s listed. And thank you for understanding my temporary Facebook insanity. (If you are reading this on Facebook, it’s not because I logged in. It’s imported from my blog.)

Married with Children? –Read This (Funny Because It’s True)

http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/03/20/p.husband.wants.besides.sex/index.html

My sister sent me this article on being married with children. It is basically a letter from husband to wife about what his experience as a husband and father has been. It is so poignant to my husband and my married life that it could have been written by Andrew himself.

As I read it I had a Walker Percy Moment: Walker Percy writes about how understanding your place in the universe is key knowledge and will help you in your understanding of just about anything else in the universe…In his writings he talks about the joy beings take in being able to identify with one another—we take pleasure, feel comfort and safety in being able to find oneself elsewhere in the world—being at a T.V. talk show and the host says, “hey, is anyone from New Jersey and some in the crowd cheers.” The cheer is the joy—saying to the world, “hey, that’s me. Woohoo! I am from New Jersey.” Or walking on a downtown street and catching your reflection in the store window and you turn and stare as you walk by. You think hey that’s me and you react to your appearance.

As I read the article about the relationship of a loving couple married with children, I look at the window saw the reflection and said, hey that’s me. Then I laughed. It’s funny because it’s true.

This Week in Review - I Have to Review, Otherwise, I Am Not Sure It Happen

This week we had some visitors. Shout out to Uncle Bart, Amy, Will and Katie Clayton. It was a nice little visit. Will was looking at Baylor for school. I hope he comes here—if we are still here. I hope he gets a big fat scholarship. By the way, see you guys in San Antonio in July ;-)

I made corned beef and red potatoes (no cabbage-it's bad for breastfeeding) on Tuesday for St. Patrick's Day. My mom always made corned beef and cabbage when we were growing up. It is a nostalgic, comfort food for me. St. Patrick's Day is quite a joyous feast day. It is full of folly and jolly amidst a solemn Lenten fast.

Boy, am I tired. Kristiana has her first illness. She had a fever at the beginning of the week, Thursday, last night and today. I hope it kills whatever she has. She has had a wet scary sounding cough all week. On Tuesday, I stayed home with her. She was complaining rather pathetically about being sick that day. I think she might have RSV, which is the same virus that caused Alexander's asthma. But, I am keeping her nose clean and it does not sound like it is in her chest. Ever since Tuesday, this week has been a blur. Say a little prayer for our little Krissy. (No, we don't call her Krissy, but it's cute isn't it?)

Alexander’s new things: He has to play outside everyday with the other kids in the neighborhood. They are all older than him and not quite nice to him. He has taken to sitting quietly by himself and “reading” books. It’s great. We encourage this activity.

Last Saturday, I took him to the library for the first time. They had a bunch of wooden toddler puzzles there. He put together every puzzle (about 10 puzzles) and refused to look at a single book. It took candy to get him to leave. We went today and his friend Brenna was there. They both put the puzzles together and then they both looked at books together.

A couple of nights ago Alexander started asking to “Watch Cars. Watch Yighting” I knew what this meant. He wanted to watch the movie Cars. He has watched everyday since. Andrew and I think this is okay for now, since we both really like this movie, and it is nice to have a break from Thomas the Tank Engine.

I really want to write some childrens' books. My mom got me thinking about this last month. I bought myself a childrens' rhyming dictionary. It is my belief that the best childrens' books rhyme. Besides being entertaining, rhyming helps a child understand the cadence of language, and adds a touch of whimsy to the story. It also helps for memorization. My book writing is not going very well. I’ll be darned if I have five minutes of free time when I get home. The only true free time I have all day is my lunch break, which I usually use to go for a walk/jog, check my facebook, pay a bill and choke down some lunch. I also get about 15-30 minutes of reading in before bed.

Speaking of reading, I am on page 60 of Atlas Shrugged. Yep, it took me two weeks to finish 30 pages. Don’t get me wrong, I am thoroughly enjoying this book. I was hoping to read 20 pages a night to finish the book in three months. However, by the time I get to my book every night I have been awake half the night with baby, wake up for the day at 6 am, made lunches, breakfast, wake up everyone else, dress the kids, feed the kids, take kids to daycare, go to work for 8 hours, come home make dinner, clean up after dinner, wash bottles & pump, play outside, wash child(ren), story time, bedtime, finish some of previously mentioned kitchen stuff, sometimes finish up laundry, one day a week volunteer at church…who has time to read. I am out by 9-9:30 pm.

Andrew and I both have March Madness. But after next weekend I am sure it will wear off.

God Bless to all who partook in reading this week in review.

Thoughts of this Friday – Faith, Reason & Evangelism

I have not forgotten two years ago when I began this blog an acquaintance began a debate with me about faith. This person sent me a very provocative video featuring a prominent atheist with reasons why faith in God is foolish and dangerous. I watched this video and then immediately went to work on an extensive rebuttal. The video was very compelling however, the speaker’s arguments were full of fallacies, which I desired to demarcate and explain. However, an hour later, and several pages into my response, I grew weary, laid down my metaphorical quill and paused to think about where this was going. I no longer desired to make my rebuttal--tediously, line by line; I no longer wished to continue the debate. I realized that perhaps this debate would go on for a long time and no ground would be gained. I thought that after a break I may come back to this.

Months later, I felt guilty that I had not come back to it. And then thought, if someone were seeking in the opposite direction from which I was arguing, then they would only be seeking to find ways in which I was wrong, in the same manner I was seeking to argue their wrongness; and the cycle of arguments would continue indefinitely. There is a very good Muslim medieval philosopher--and I should be shot, I cannot remember his name now (sorry, Dr. Tkacz, al Farabi?)—who said if one cannot argee to the existence of God in the first place there is no point in beginning an argument on faith with that person.

If there is one thing I did retain in all my philosophical training at Gonzaga, it’s this, you cannot reason yourself to faith. No one has ever done it. C.S. Lewis couldn’t do it, Soren Kierkegaard could not do it, and neither can you. You can reason whether some notions are right or wrong, but faith is not of the same nature.

Andrew always tells me that I should not be mad at him for being an hour late to dinner, because he was evangelizing. “It’s a chance to save a soul.” He reminds me we are all called to evangelize. The reason I did not finish my rebuttal was out of my own weakness. So some days, like today I feel guilty that I never finished my rebuttal. Maybe I will dig it out and see if I can finish it (now, two years farther from my years as a philosophy student).


+May God be merciful to me, a sinner.

Keeping a Vigil for Jeanette

Please join me in praying for the repose of Jeanette's soul, who passed away last night.

And for the consolation of all her family.

Eternal rest grant unto her, O Lord.

And let perpetual light shine upon her.
May she rest in peace.
Amen.

Tone 3 for Resurrection

Let the heavens rejoice, let the earth be glad.

With His arm the Lord has won victory.

By His death the Lord has conquered Death.

He has become the first born of the dead;

he has delivered us from the depths of the Abyss

and has granted great mercy to the world.

Through Heaven's Eyes

Andrew always tells me to look at my life through heaven's eyes. It's from this song in Prince of Egypt. I embedded the song from YouTube below. I am not exactly sure what my life would like in "heaven's eyes," but I think it means each person's life has purpose and meaning; and your life is part of the beauty of creation. See the video and you will feel better about yourself and creation.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oG0a9WFkgzU

7 Quick Takes Friday - While Christ Was on the Cross

1. I saw a news headline that said the Seinfeld cast was reuniting for his new show. Wouldn’t it be fun if the Seinfeld Show came back on the air? They would pick up with the same cast and characters and a few new characters like Jerry should have a wife on the show. That would be great. We’ve all had a break from that show and it would be nostalgic for those who used to watch and it would new to the next generation. It would also be the first show to ever come back from retirement.

2. Alexander story of the week – We had a scare last weekend. We thought Alexander might have a cavity. He was complaining that something in his mouth hurt, he wouldn't eat much, and woke up crying in the night. He said his mouth hurt. He would not eat. Further, he has never been compliant about letting us brush his teeth well on a regular basis. So we were a bit frantic about it. I started calling dentists on Monday. No one will see a child under three. Finally, I was able to get him in with the only pediatric dentist in town (she's only open 3 days a week). He was still complaining about it Monday morning. But, when I picked him up from daycare that evening the caretakers said he didn't complain all day and ate well. So the next morning I canceled the appointment. I think his pain was either associated with his nasty cold he also had over the weekend, or he had a sore in his mouth. Andrew later admitted to giving him sunflower seeds!!! The package clearly states not to give the seed to children under three. Anyway, the message of this story is brush your kids' teeth even when they don't want to. 4,500th time you do it, they will learn. ;-)

3. Kristiana story of the week – Last night something awoke me. I wasn’t quite sure what it was, but 15 seconds later I heard it again. It was my precious daughter letting out the loudest farts you’ve ever heard come from a little bit. I thought, “Dang girl, you woke your mamma up with all that noise!” She was letting off stream after stream of farts all night long. The funniest part was that she was dead asleep. It didn’t bother her. She’s the gassiest baby I have ever met. Other people have commented about her gassiness—from both ends. A couple weeks ago she farted really loud in church. You can imagine our embarrassment. People who were not looking at her did not know it was her. Oftentimes, she lets out a little baby grunt when she pushes it out. This might be an issue later on when we have to explain to her that she needs to work out how to do this quietly. :-(

4. Did anyone else see the political commentary on Ugly Betty last night about the Bailout? Scathing. I was skeptical about where they were going with it at first. The company on the show did not get their bailout. The owner had to put up his own assets. Betty and her family did not get their bailout, nor did Betty want a bailout. Her father earned it instead. In the resolution of all the dilemmas on this episode of the show, the final message was, “Do the right thing.” We all know that there is a right way and a wrong way to deal with money matters and interpersonal relations. So, do the right thing.

5. My Lenten soul refurbishment is not going as well as I had hoped. I definitely need to spend more time praying. I haven’t gone for reconciliation yet and I had hoped to make it a weekly practice. If you get a chance, say a little prayer for me that I may make more frequent reconciliation. It’s more important than you can imagine.

6. I did not cook dinner at all this week: one dinner at a friend’s house, two frozen pizza’s, one sandwich on the run to church, and Taco Bell bean burritos tonight. It is totally weird to not have cooked for five whole days. I love cooking, but on the other hand, it’s kind of nice to have had a break. Even with this little break I have found it difficult to get little things done, let alone do anything extra like pray, read, knit, etc.

7.“While Christ was on the Cross, you were on His mind.” Remember His labor of Love.

P.S. I started Atlas Shrugged. I am on page 30 of 1063. So far, it’s brilliant.

Attack of the Alexander Monster

Photoshoot - to update pictures of the princess. Notice Alexander in the background.

"Mommy, take pictures of me too." (the jealousy begins)

"Baby Sister, get out of my Picture!" (Whack!)

(Head butt.) "Move, Baby." (Sadness.)

"This photoshoot is over. I am getting my 3 month old self outa here." (Scoot, scoot, scoot)

As Alexander would say, "Ta da."

That was our day, all day, yesterday. We spent most of the day trying to fend Alexander off Kristiana. I had really hoped not to repeat what went on in my house growing up. Somehow, I have got to figure out how to stop the cycle.

Do I have to be the little sister.

TOO CUTE - Mother's of Little Girls Beware

Check out my cousins' new business! I will definitely be purchasing one of these as soon as Kristiana is big enough. This so creative and beautiful. Prices and ordering details are toward the bottom of the page on this blog.

http://www.poshtoppings.blogspot.com

Renee’s 7 Quick Takes Friday - And Atlas Shrugged

1. Facebook Fast? Check out this article in the Wall Street Journal. (Click Here)
This is sad and painfully true for many Facebook users. I don’t know if I want to do this. But, I could probably benefit from it.

2. Canned seafood is delicious, is good for your wallet, good for your waistline and has a multitude of health benefits. My favorites are smoked oysters, smoked kippered herring, tuna, salmon (in that order).

3. I have recently taken up drinking a glass of wine with dinner as often as possible. Weird that’s like an uber adult, or European thing, to do.

4. Coffee is my beverage of choice lately. I have recently taken up making and drinking coffee every morning. I never understood why my mom drank so much coffee. I thought her habit of drinking almost a pot a day was disgusting. Now that I have two kids, I totally understand. If it were at all sane to drink coffee all day, I would. I usually try to keep it to one cup of coffee and one cup of tea since I am breastfeeding. I totally feel bad about giving all that caffeine to Kristiana. And no, I will not be giving up coffee for Lent. It’s just not a vice for me, yet. We’ll see what the effect on me is when there are a couple more kids in my house.

5. Poor Alexander – cool moist, moldy weather = asthma = up all night coughing = parents up all night and breathing treatments = icky, runny, burning, frequent diapers = sad Alexander. BUT, we’re all used to the drill by now.

6. Kristiana is the classic trooper of a second child. She’s so strong and intelligent, she amazes me. She has a smile that can brighten any day. Alexander also amazes me. On Tuesday morning Andrew and I went get ready for work and left Alexander to his trains. As we were both standing at the sink Andrew’s phone began to ring. “Who is that?” Andrew asked.

I replied, “Oh, I am calling you apparently. Alexander must have my cell phone somehow.” An endearing moment ensued.

“Hello? Alexander?”

“Hello? Mummy? (pause) Mummy! Trains, mummy. [blah, blah, blah, baby talk].”

“Alexander, give the phone to Daddy.” Andrew ran downstairs to get the phone and Alexander gave it to him. Awe, so cute.

7. Strange to say but, YAY Lent starts next week! There is something about suffering, self-denial, good works, and attentiveness to one’s soul that is cathartic and uplifting.
Happy Mardi Gras to all.

And P.S. I plan to begin reading Atlas Shrugged. Wish me luck.

Renee Needs

It's been a while. I am just trying to find the balance. I haven't even kept up on my favorite blogs.

Anyway, I thought y'all would be interested in this, because it's a chance to google yourself, so it should be fun for you.

Here's how this works: Google *your name* needs, and write down 10 of the search results.

1. They were all along the lines of "Renee needs to gain weight" and "Renee needs a man."
2. Her advice: Renee needs to get back to the joy of "just being."
3. You know if Renee Zellweger needs a couple of bucks, I'm happy to lend it to her.
4. Renee needs a break. (Ain’t it the truth? We all do.)
5. Renee needs a home. She squats in a shack down on Gardner street. In the shadow of wealth and the town's elite. Wondering each day what she'll have to eat.
6. Renee needs to tell a very important reality-altering story –
7. Renee Zellweger Needs a Makeover.
8. RENEE NEEDS TO MIND HER BUSINESS AND STOP TAKING ALL OF STRESS AND PUTTING ON OTHER PEOPLE YOU ALL NEED TO GET RID HER
9. At her work, if Renee is late more than six times, she's in danger of losing her job.
10. Garlington Center needs your voice, Renee

A Stream of Neverending Laundry...Alexander's Sick 2.15

Eleven loads of laundry later, Alexander is still tossing his cookies, etc., and I have still not begun our family's regular laundry.

It all started late Saturday night, which was really early Sunday morning around midnight. I heard acry and went to Alexander's room to check on him. It was not quite his normal middle of the night cry. I opened the door and smelled it (I will spare you the detail of the odor, but it wasn't roses). I immediately knew something was wrong and flipped on the light--vomit everywhere--poor kid. That was load of laundry number one. Andrew helped me bathe Alexander and remove bedding. At that point Alexander was a bit traumatized and wanted to sleep with mom and dad and vomit on mom and all of mom and dad's bedding. We should have known better (load of laundry 2-3, plus pillows 4-5)--we did know better and ignored it, because we were tired. Then we all had a camp out in the living room--auxiliary blankets and pillows vomited on a couple more times (loads of laundry 6-11, I threw in all the blankets he used for good measure, and towels used to cleanup). Whew. All day Sunday he was tired but stopped vomiting and kept food down; Monday he was feeling fine, but had fevers; Tuesday, today, I woke him up and he immediately had diarrhea and a little bit of vomiting. Woohoo! and more laundry to do.

A lesson for all parents of little ones with an upset tummy: have a plan for vomiting. We were so tired we didn't think about letting him vomit all over the blankets would create so much laundry. We did have a bucket for him, but it's not easy to get a little one to warn you they are going to throw-up. In the past we have handled it better putting Alexander on towels and getting him to do it there. It created a lot less laundry. I think Andrew and I were both too sleep deprived to think and just wanted to cozy up and get some sleep. It was a bit of a cold night. C'est la vie-back to it

7 Takes Friday (Kacy Style)

1. I am going back to work February 9th. Though I will miss the children terribly and will probably have to work even harder than before in every area of my life, I am grateful to have a job when so many in our nation do not have jobs. On the news this morning they announced that 90 workers at Mrs. Baird's bread bakery in Waco would lose their jobs. These are trying times.

2. O This week we endure, Thy name is colic. Kristiana has developed a little colic and it sounds like she wants to die when it comes upon her. All day long every day--I am not able to get too much done, because she is terribly unhappy. She could also be having a growth spurt. She can't seem to stop eating.

3. Flat Belly "Bam Ba lam" - Andrew and I started the Flat Belly Diet (as found in Prevention magazine February '09 issue) on Tuesday. It's pretty simple and easy to follow and in just four days we have both lost four pounds. We are coming down from our rich holiday food high. You should check it out. But, the fact that I am losing weight while nursing a 6 week old baby may be contributing to her colic. I don't feel bad. I was eating really poorly and now I am eating nothing but vegetables, whole grains, lean meats, some fruits and most importantly on this diet MUFAs. You'll have to read the diet to figure that one out. This diet is pretty much like all the other healthy diets--south beach, zone, insulin resistance--except I have found it easier than the others.

4. Help, I am drowning in clutter. Is it just me, or does everyone struggle with clutter as much as I do? Seems like there are always piles I have to deal with. I like to think I am good with organizing, but maybe I am not good at letting go, because you always need something a day after you get rid of it. Besides what do you do with it all?

5. Insurance companies are evil bastards--I got a bill for $305 this week for a lab that should have been 100% covered. I called a million people (okay, three - the three companies involved, my doctor's office, the lab billing and the insurance company). After a couple of hours and no answers later I was ready to have a meltdown. The only conclusion that came from all three was that the lab was not in my network. But, how did it happen that it was sent to an out of network lab...After several days and more calls the conclusion is that either the insurance will pay or the dr.'s office will, but I do not have to pay. Whew! I'll admit in my half starved, over-tired state I shed a few tears, while no one was watching. I don't know why this particular incident seemed like the end of the world to me. Maybe it had to do with the five loads of laundry piled around my living room I was attempting to conquer at the same time.

6. How do all you mommies and grand mommies keep a two year entertained (short attention span) while getting stuff done around the house and also juggling a newborn. Alexander always wants all eyes on him, or playing with him, or he must watch T.V. I don't want him to watch so much T.V., but every time I have to leave the room or breastfeed he starts breaking stuff, or has to follow me, or sit next to me, or hit the baby. Eeek, what to do with the dethroned first child?

7. Glory be to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, for all the blessings he gives us even in these troubled times. He is with us and He shows us signs everyday. Do not forget to thank him today.

Kristiana's Rites of Initiation - Baptism, Chrismation, Holy Communion

BAPTISM (see video), CHRISMATION, HOLY COMMUNION

Birth Story -Kristiana

It was mostly uneventful, aside from the actual birth, which is great and exactly what every woman desires. I was induced with Alexander and it all went fine, but the pitocin induced contractions were intense and scary. I was strapped to a bed with a million wires and tubes streaming from my body. I kept thinking that this is not the way it is supposed to be. It felt totally out of control, like a runaway train. Despite my husband and mother-in-law being there I felt totally alone, because they did not know how to help me through it, I did not know what I was doing and the nurses came in only periodically, then the doctor showed at the delivery. So, this time around I was looking to experience birth as it was meant to be.

On the day of Kristiana's birth, Thursday, December 4th, I woke up at 4:15 a.m. with a contraction. This was not unusual, because for the last week I had been waking up around the same time each morning with a few contractions and then I would fall back asleep. After a couple more contractions than I expected, I went the bathroom. There was quite a bit of blood, etc. I thought, this could be it. But, this was not unexpected either considering my midwife stripped my membranes (I think she has a good technique to stimulate labor) followed by a little "marital union" (as Fr. Tim refers to IT), at the midwife's recommendation. The contractions continued every five minutes for an hour. So, I said to myself, I am sure this is it. I took a hot bath to calm things down, since it seemed to be happening fast. After my bath the contractions were still coming every five minutes and were lasting 30 seconds. I said to myself, at this rate I'll have a baby by noon. So, I called Andrew, who was at work (FedEx Shipping), and said that I was in labor and he should come home, because I don't know how what to expect, we might need to go soon.

I kept waiting for longer more intense contractions, but they didn't come. We all (my mom, Andrew, Alexander and myself) had some breakfast at Whataburger (wonderful Texan fast food burger joint). Then we chatted awhile. Around 10:30 a.m. the contractions had slowed down quite a bit. They almost weren't there. I started to panic that this could be false labor, but I knew that even if it stopped today, it would surely start again tomorrow. I decided to take a walk at 11:30 a.m., because every time I walked around I had more contractions. With my mom and Alexander in the stroller, we strolled. My midwife called around noon and asked how it was going, I said I was walking because the contractions slowed. And I told her I might have a slow leak. She asked me a few questions about it and then said, probably not. She said go home and take a nap, because I would be sorry later that I used all my energy walking. I hung up the phone, and uh oh, my water broke. So I walked back slightly wet.

At home my mom and Andrew really wanted me to call back and go in to the doctor's office. I said, no, I'm tired now and I am go to take a nap. So I did, sorta. I laid down and immediately started to doze, but every 25 minutes I had an intense and long contraction that threw me out of bed. That's right kicked my butt right out of bed. Finally, I decided I could not sleep and went back downstairs to see how everyone was doing. Again, they all wanted me to call the office. I did not want to immediately, because I needed to put Alexander down for a nap and the contractions were not that close together, although they were beginning to pick up speed and intensity.

Finally, I called the office around 1:45 p.m. and said that I think it's time to be check and I think my water broke. I arrived at the office at 2:00 p.m. She said I was 7 cm (a lot farther along than I thought). My water had broke and she was going to cancel the rest of her appointments and meet me at the hospital. By 2:45 p.m. I was all checked in and ready to go. Andrew and I sat to play some gin. We did not get far in the game. He and the nurse took bets on when they thought the baby would be born. Andrew said by 5:00 and the nurse said by 5:30. I was shocked by both guesses. So soon! But, Andrew was right. By the time the midwife arrived things moved swiftly. She had me lean over the birth ball on my chest and rock back and forth through contractions as she and Andrew rubbed my back. That scenario worked well. After a half hour she check me again and said that if I wanted to start pushing we'd have a baby in a jiffy. Okay, what ever you say. It was at this point my brain started to go numb and I was just trying to take orders.

Here's where I spare you gory details and skip to the part that's slightly amusing and why Andrew can't look at me the same anymore. As our little baby was being born I screamed; I screamed bloody murder (as my dad would say); I screamed my head off; Andrew said it sounded like someone was tearing my arms off (well, it's sort of like that, dear); After the first two screams, the nurses and midwife started saying "NO, Renee, guttural, lower! The screams aren't helping." Bull! what do you know. "Push!" and I replied as I pushed, "Noooo!!!" But, in my head I kept thinking just do it, or you will be here (Here=baby half born, in excruciating pain) all day. My attempts to not scream turned into pursing my lips, which caused me to spit (like a sputter) all over the nurses and midwife. Oops, didn't mean to do that, but whatever, it's working. Andrew tells me from the looks of every one's faces they had never heard a woman scream like that before. Except the midwife, who was trying not to laugh. (I think they are all partially deaf now.) Andrew was half way across the room at this point (good, where I want him to be). Andrew was traumatized by the screaming. I think he has told everyone we know about it ( if he didn't tell you I just did). After months of telling me I could do it without an epidural, he is now saying next time you get one. Ha, ha, ha.

The actual birth part was the worst pain ever. However, it all happened very quickly and I have ALREADY forgotten how bad the pain was. I remember thinking in the middle of it, "Oh no, put it back. I don't want to do this now. Do-over, do-over." I now know why women get fully dilated and then ask for the epidural and by that point it's too late. It's because up until that point, it was all fine and totally manageable pain. I know that it goes a lot differently for some women and they have more intense contractions earlier. It was not like that. In other words, it was a good birthing experience. I feel like recovery has been faster. Although, we all have the sniffles now and Alexander has decided he needs to sleep in our bed. Grr. He is stealing sleep from us all.

Anyway, that's pretty much it. Praise be to God! I know a lot of prayers were prayed for us. They were answered.

And Joelle, I still haven't heard from you. Surely, you have given birth and have some pictures to share.

Alexander's Present From Flightygirl

I received this hat yesterday from an awesome mommy blogger (flightygirl). She graciously shared her crafty knitting talent with me, and Alexander. This is probably the first hat he has been really excited about. It will come in handy when when go to Washington in January. Of course, we can use it right now here in Texas since it is very cold now. Three cheers for Kelly. Yay, Kelly, Yay, Kelly, Yay, Kelly.

Debut - Kristiana Noelle Clayton

Born 12/4/08, 5:06 p.m., 6lbs 7oz, 19 in.
She's a beauty!

It's Okay There's Always the Hot Dog Song

To start: Here’s a shout out to Sarah in Afghanistan. Give’em hell! I hope your living arrangements get to be better. Your movies will be on their way shortly.

Stop reading here if you don’t like complaining…

I am feeling a little miserable. She’s all cramped and kicking hard for more space. I have had lots of contractions, which are not painful, but uncomfortable. My motility is really bad, i.e. it’s hard to get up and my waddle is profound. :-( It feels like my bladder is perpetually full. I promised myself I would never get swelling, because despite what people say that is not normal. Yesterday when I left work, my shoes were tight!—more water and walking, please.

It’s awful to say, but at this point in pregnancy, when pleading for it to be over, I know why people say they only want to have two/three children (or when they are up all night puking, or when you realize how expensive they are, or that you can invest more time in their care and upbringing the less of them you have). I will conveniently forget these feelings in a year, or so, because as far as I can tell, “the more the merrier,” despite all the trouble to rear them.

And despite my misery, I firmly do NOT want this baby to come now. First, the midwife leaves town tomorrow for five days. I went through all the stages of grief about her possibly not being here for the birth. I thought I was over it, but the more miserable I become the more I wish she were here. Second, I now have four days off work and I plan on spending a majority of that time resting. And I really want that rest, because I know I will enter the land of the living dead as soon as this little one is born. Then, I think I will be far more miserable.

I did not sleep well last night. I woke up at 4:00 a.m. cold and my sinuses hurt quite a bit, so I did not fall back asleep. It was time to get up to start the daily routine about the time I felt like I could go back to sleep. I took a long, hot shower, cleared out those sinuses and sore muscles and got on with it (though still miserable).

Alexander was pretty sweet and well-behaved this morning. He sang the hot dog song…you’d have to be there to know how cute that is. I hated to have to take him to daycare. It would have been nice to go back to sleep for a couple of hours and wake up to sweet husband and son playing. But, I had some work to finish up before I go on leave.

I do not plan to be at work next week. I think the baby is no more than a week away and depending how I feel, I may not go to work next week. However, chances are that after a few days rest, I will not have the baby and will feel much more up to going to work. I still stick by that all signs point birth happening in no more than a week.

The Big Bad Two Year Old

From Alexander 2nd Birthday

I think that if you click this image it will take you to the entire Alexander Birthday Album.

10 things about Alexander at 2 years old:

1. Loves Elmo, Thomas the Train, blocks, counting and sometimes he sings the alphabet when he thinks no one is listening.
2. He has figured out how to turn on the T.V. and wants it turned on to kids shows at all times.
3. He still struggles with asthma.
4. Baths are okay, but only if he is ready.
5. Rough housing with dad means number one good time and lots of giggles.
6. Milk! The boy lives on milk. Other favorite foods include pizza, ravioli (kind of getting tired of this), cereal, pop tarts, french toast, bananas and other snacky food items--all junk food.
7. He is pretty cautious.
8. He does not like dirty hands. Unless it is literally dirt and then he doesn't mind indulging in dirt.
9. He does not know how to share. He's very full of himself. How else would he be, he's two and is currently the only child. As far as he is concerned the sun rises and sets for him.
10. He is about to have a baby sister and then his world will really change.

Baby Update - 18 Days Until Due Date

I saw my midwife today. Everything is normal for this point (we have some progress toward birth) and the expectation is to make it to somewhere near the due date.

HOWEVER, thanks to our wonderful holiday next week (don't get me wrong, I LOVE Thanksgiving), I will not have another appointment for 13 days AND my midwife is leaving town from Thanksgiving to the following Tuesday. PANIC. I was really looking forward to having a midwife for this birth and now it is a real possibility that she may not be there.

She said that she was fairly confident that she would be there for this birth. But her leaving town does give me a little anxiety. We can make though, I can put me feet up and cross my legs and think good thoughts. :-) This is no time for me to be impatient, even though every other thought I have is about this pregnancy and baby. It's time to take it easy.

Say a little prayer that I have a midwife for this birth. I was feeling SO confident about everything, because I knew she would be there. I am losing my confidence a little...a lot.

Slavophile - We Changed Our Minds?

At Br. Gabriel's request:

So our dear friend called Sunday evening and he put into my head that Andrew and I should go "Russian" and spell our daughter's name with a "K," since we are such Slavophiles. I have been hearing this echo in my head for a couple of days now. Today, I mentioned it to Andrew and without hesitation he said, "Okay." Somehow, this has solved his discomfort of spelling it without an "h." We had consider it before, but for some reason it made more sense when Br. Gabriel said it.

Kristiana Noelle - I think...next week we will be back to Walburga.

"Be Not Afraid" to Defend Innocent Life Always

"AWESOME. I have never been more proud to be an AMERICAN Catholic. I'm always proud to be a Catholic. Love, AC"

http://www.chicagotribune.com/features/religion/chi-081111bishops,0,615284.story

I wanted to post the text as well, because someday this link will cease, but my blog will keep record.

Catholic bishops plan to forcefully confront Obama
By Manya Brachear Tribune staff reporter
8:38 PM CST, November 11, 2008
BALTIMORE - In a direct challenge to President-elect Barack Obama, America's Roman Catholic bishops vowed on Tuesday to accept no compromise for the sake of national unity until there is legal protection for the unborn.About 300 bishops, gathered in Baltimore for their national meeting, adopted a formal blessing for a child in the womb and advised Chicago's Cardinal Francis George, president of the conference, as he began drafting a statement from the bishops to the incoming Obama administration. That document will call on the administration and Catholics who supported Obama to work to outlaw abortion."This is not a matter of political compromise or a matter of finding some way of common ground," said Bishop Daniel Conlon of Steubenville, Ohio. "It's a matter of absolutes."The bishops, long one of the leading political forces against abortion, spent the first part of Tuesday behind closed doors reportedly debating the merits of "Faithful Citizenship," a nuanced guide for Catholic voters issued last November.
Though the document made clear that "the direct and intentional destruction of innocent human life is always wrong and is not just one issue among many," it also advised Catholics to weigh issues like poverty, war, the environment and human rights when choosing candidates.But some bishops said they were surprised to see Catholics cite the document as justification for selecting candidates--like Obama--who support abortion rights. A slim majority of the nation's Catholics voted for the Democratic candidate.Several bishops said that Catholics could not in good conscience vote for a candidate who favored abortion rights after Obama pledged to pass legislation that would overturn state's restrictions on abortion such as late-term abortion bans and requirements of parental consent."Any one of us here would consider it a privilege to die tomorrow--die tomorrow!--to bring about the end of abortion," said Auxiliary Bishop Robert Hermann of St. Louis.Bishops Thomas Paprocki of Chicago said such legislation could threaten laws that allow health-care workers to refrain from carrying out procedures that violate their conscience, putting Catholic health care institutions in jeopardy."There are grave consequences," Paprocki said in an interview. "If Catholic hospitals were required by federal law to perform abortions, we'd have to close our hospitals.""I don't think I'm being alarmist," Paprocki told the bishops.George agreed that losing federal funds would put Catholic health care facilities, which make up a third of the nation's hospitals, out of business. Closing Catholic hospitals would put many patients seeking charitable care from those facilities at risk, he added.In crafting the statement to Obama, the bishops urged the cardinal to indicate a desire to work with the administration in areas of economic justice, immigration reform, health care for the poor and religious freedom. But they stressed the church's "intent on opposing evil" and "defense of the unborn child."They vowed to oppose any law or executive order that might loosen restrictions on abortion.They emphasized that efforts to advance abortion rights would "permanently alienate tens of millions of Americans and would be interpreted by many Catholics as an attack on the Church." They also urged Catholics in public life to be committed to the teachings of the church.Bishop Joseph Martino of Scranton, Pa., vice president-elect Joe Biden's home town, called on his brother bishops to be more punitive against Catholic officials who are "stridently anti-life.""I cannot have the vice president coming to Scranton and saying he learned his values there when those values are utterly against those of the Catholic Church," Martino said.Sister Jamie Phelps, a theologian at Xavier University in Louisiana, also served on Obama's National Catholic Advisory Board. She applauds the bishops for issuing the statement. But she said the Faithful Citizenship document made it clear that while the rights of an unborn child are a priority voters should consider a whole range of issues regarding the preservation and quality of life."That child has no voice if it's not the voice of the bishops and the voice of Catholics," she said. "But you can not pick and choose an intrinsic evil."George said the Faithful Citizenship document remains the guiding principle for Catholic voters. But he said future versions should be tweaked so portions are not "misused and misinterpreted." He said Catholics seemed to overlook the "whole question of proportionate reason."George has attributed Obama's victory to the economy, insisting that it was not a referendum on moral issues such as abortion rights.The bishops also approved a blessing on Tuesday devoted to a child in the womb, intended to support parents, unite parishes and foster respect for human life within society."Obviously it's a very tangible way for us to witness pastorally and sacramentally to the life of an unborn child," said Archbishop Joseph Kurtz of Louisville. "It's very consistent with the priorities we've raised."

Doin' Fine

We survived the weekend. Alexander is doing much better and eating well. He ate a nice little serving of green beans at lunch yesterday. Woohoo for vegetables! He likes them well cooked and buttery. He's down to two breathing treatments a day.

I took it extremely easy for a few hours on Sunday and I feel much better too--at least in terms of birthing. I did not do the laundry; oh well. I no longer feel like birth is near, which is great.

Andrew will be home late tonight--every garbage can is full and the litter box has not been touched in five days and Alexander is in desperate need of some rough housing. Among a million other reasons he is missed, it will be great to have him home again.