Friday, October 30, 2009

SIGNS, Trying to Put the Puzzle Together

“If today you hear His voice, harden not your heart.”

I woke up to the melody of this verse this morning, and it has been on replay in my head since. I cannot tell you why. After some aimless meandering around the house, some banging of pots and baby cuddling, I hunkered down for prayer and scripture reading. It is not like me to do other things before I pray, yet it seemed as though I was avoiding it. Since the aforementioned verse awakened me earlier than usual, I had extra time this morning. So I decided I would read today’s scripture with my prayers.

This was today’s verse:

“He who is not with me is against me, and he who does not gather with me, scatters.’

‘When an evil spirit comes out of a man, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, 'I will return to the house I left.' When it arrives, it finds the house swept clean and put in order.” (Luke 11:23-25).

This verse has been a theme for me lately. Between this and our priest last Sunday gave a homily saying, “It doesn't say blessed are those are trying to be pure of heart, blessed are those who want to be pure of heart! It says, blessed of those who are pure of heart for they shall enter the kingdom of God.” The only conclusion I can come to is that “Someone” is screaming at the top of “One’s” lungs for me to get to confession and make a “clean home.”

This whole morning has been in slow motion for me. Alexander did not want to go to preschool this morning. He wanted to build train tracks. So I asked Andrew, who would be working at home this morning, if Alex could stay an extra half hour. I left and took the baby to daycare. As I was coming out of the daycare Alexander and Andrew were entering the school. He played for ten minutes and then decided it was time to go. Okay son, if ten minutes of private playtime with Dad is all you needed, we are happy to oblige.

On the way to work, I heard on the car radio that a military transport, C-130, collided with a coast guard helicopter over the Atlantic last night. (Note: I totally got this one wrong. It was off the coast of California.) I freaked out, because that is the plane my sister flies and she is on her way back from Iraq. So I frantically called my parents asking if they had heard from her. Yes, they had. Her plane is broken down in England. Thankfully it was not my sister’s plane, but it was someone’s family, so I prayed for their souls. It so easy to be unsympathetic toward other’s tragedies until they hit home. Love ya’, Sis. Come home safe.

Everything has been out of order today. It seems as though things are out of order to call these signs to my attention. But, I am still not seeing the big picture.


Michelle M. said...

Sorry you are feel so out of order. I feel like way a lot of the time, especially when I am unable to get in my prayers the way I wish I could.

I will pray for your sister. It must be stressful not knowing where she is and if she is ok. I can't imagine.

I hope this new week will go well for you.

Anne said...

I went to confession this Sunday--it was great. I had been avoiding it for a while and making excuses not to go...

Hope you figure out the big picture soon enough--that always helps me in organizing things.

Praying for your sister--and all our troops.