Boeuf Bourgignon

---My first venture into Mastering the Art of French Cooking. The best description of the product is an exquisite stew.

This recipe was very labor intensive. I started by reading the recipe the night before and writing a grocery shopping list. First thing in the morning I was off to the grocery store. The damage for the ingredients was somewhere around $20 and it serves 6, which figures to about $3.33 per serving. So, it’s on the pricey end of a home cooked meal.

Later in the day when the children were down for naps I began prepping and cooking. By the time I started cooking I had read the recipe about seven times. It took that many times to simply comprehend all the tasks I had to complete. During the cooking I had to read the recipe a few more times. There were a lot of steps. After properly preparing the ingredients I had to sauté every thing in order to seal in the flavor.

Two hours later it was ready to go into the pot to simmer for four hours. Our friend of ours called to invite us for dinner. We had not seen her in a while so we accepted her gracious invitation. I turned down the temperature on the pot. Seven hours later (oops, too long), I had a somewhat overcooked, but still incredibly delicious stew. According to Julia, it will only be better tomorrow. I believe it. I tried it an hour after putting it into the refrigerator and it was fabulous.

Ten point scale ratings:

Degree of difficulty: 8

Degree of labor intensity: 8

Degree of Kitchen Carnage: 7.5

Likelihood of making it again: It’s complicated. At first I thought it felt like I might only try this on special occasions, but now that I am more familiar with the recipe and execution I feel I am may be able to accomplish it with more ease.

My Execution of this recipe: 5 - Yes, I made some substitutions. I didn't have a casserole large enough to fit the whole recipe, so I put it in my slow cooker and cooked it there instead the oven. There were too many veggies and not enough time, so I didn't saute the mushrooms. I used regular sliced bacon instead huge chunks. I used medium onion instead of small.

Degree of deliciousness: In comparison to you average "Better Homes and Gardens Cook Book" Stew MtAoFC Stew is a 10.

Notes: For mum’s with many kids running about, I think that this recipe could be done in stages—day one: shopping, day two: cutting, day three: cooking.

Did I mention once the beef made it into the pot for hours of stewing, what followed was an accidental nap with Kristiana. I never nap, but after all that work it just happened.

Next up, Coq a Vin.

Perfect day for cooking stew--Raining

Step One: Braised Onions

Step 18: Dry Beef with paper towels. (Who knew they had paper towels in 1961)

Step 21: Saute beef in almost smoking fat. Oops, mine actually smoked.

Step 22: Add to already sauteed bacon chunks

Step 25: chop veggies

Step 45: Add sauteed veggies to braised onions

Kitchen Carnage

Boeuf Bourgignon: Bon Apetit!

The Children Need to See You Pray

Constantly my husband and I talk about how to do family prayer. With two small children it seems like madness every time we pray as a family. We think, what have we done wrong?

I started reading a book called “Graced and Gifted: Biblical Wisdom for the Homemaker's Heart” by Kimberly Hahn, with Waco Catholic Mom’s Group. I have never read anything by the Hahn’s before, but I have heard much about them. So far the book has been extremely easy to read and has lots of compact and precise wisdom from biblical passages.

Mrs. Hahn wrote about every homemaker needing the five “P’s,” which she learned from another homemaking book, “Living by a Mother’s Rule of Life,” by Holly Pierlot. The Mother’s Rule is in the following order by priority, “Prayer, Person, Partner, Parent, Provider.”

“Prayer (your relationship with God), Person (what you need to do to take care of yourself properly), Partner (your relationship with your partner), Parent (what you need to do to take care of your children), Provider (the things you do to care for the whole household).” Designed to be a checklist to make sure the Mother is doing her job well.

The first thing that has stuck in my head is “Prayer.” I read about how other mothers and homemakers pray, and realized that a lot of women just pray while they go about their daily chores and duties, and let it permeate their day. As we should, “pray without ceasing.” As I read about other mothers’ prayer tactics it occurred to me, the children need to see you pray.

We learn best by example and if the children do not see and hear us pray daily, how are they to learn the habit themselves? Kimberly Hahn wrote about ways in which mother’s managed to make time for prayer—one mother sat in the kitchen with her apron over her head and her children knew not to disturb her. It may not be feasible to get everyone together at one time to pray together and what about time for personal prayer. So mum should just go ahead and pray. If the family joins in great; if the children start interrupting personal prayer, stop and tell them what you are doing, or find a safe place for them to be and continue praying.

I am glad I read this and I have made it my goal to pray in front of the children, even when it is personal prayer. I pray often in my heart throughout the day. Alex and I pray together before he goes to bed and then he prays again with Andrew after I leave. He likes one on one praying. But our children do not see us pray other than at church or before meals. I think it is important to simply do it and let them see you do it.

I read about all of this a couple of weeks ago and still have not achieved my goal of praying in front of the children at least once a day. But, I set the time to do it after dinner. I have decided that is a bad time, because by the time dinner is through someone is always crying. Tonight when I get home I am going to rush in and drop everything and pray right away and then begin making dinner. I hope to make it a habit. Wish me luck.

Can a Cook Book Change a Person’s Life?

A couple of year’s ago my mum sent me a first edition copy of Mastering the Art of French Cooking. Mum was really excited about it and I thought it was cool. I looked inside it and felt dizzy. The book had many intricate recipes and they were organized by genre, i.e. poultry, eggs, deserts, and so forth. “But wait! How do I make a meal of this? And why would I need to know how to bone a duck?” I fancy myself a good cook, but I am a thirty minute cook. If I cannot throw it together in that time, familial disasters occur. I also could not figure out which dishes go together.

One evening I came home and said to my husband, “I think we need more sauces in our lives. Sauces make everything taste better!” So I opened up MtAoFC, found a sauce, and proceeded to make it. I am pretty sure that I did not read all the instructions and I probably did not have all the ingredients, because that is typical Renee. I am the queen of substitutions. Even if I plan a meal, my mood will change during the week and I will have to make do with what I have (it’s a working mom thing). Needless to say, my sauce turned out mediocre and I didn’t go there again.

Flash forward to a month ago, Andrew said that he was going to start making some dinners. I had a meltdown. I should have been happy my husband wanted to cook and help out. In my head, he was saying to me that he did not like my cooking and he was tired of it. The man who is a self-professed bad cook wants to replace me! In his head, he was thinking that the children are going through an exceptionally clingy phase and I should make dinner so they can spend some time with their mother.

Andrew is not a cook. In fact, he has never made me a meal that did not come out of a box. But he said, “I want to do this right.” He knew we had MtAoFC, because I had told him that the cook book in the movie, “Ratatouille” was a play on MtAoFC and I showed it to him. He is a fan of that movie and the T.V. show, “Top Chef,” and he appreciates fine cuisine. Andrew went to the cupboard and pulled out the cook book. The next day he went to the store bought a bounty of fresh ingredients and made the finest steak with a lovely sauce and sautéed mushrooms. It was not exactly a “meal” per se, since it had no sides. But, I did not care. The steak was so delicious I could not think about anything else.

A couple of days ago, I saw the movie Julie/Julia (warning you have to be a big fan of fine food to enjoy this movie). It was such a lovely movie. The main character Julie speaks of how Julia Childs’ cook book MtAoFC saved her, and indeed it did. But could this cook book save others? It saved this woman because she gained the writing career out of it that she so desired. It saved her in other ways as well. Julie got to know herself. She showed her true colors through cooking.

Last night, I sautéed mushrooms, onions, and green bell peppers. But before I did, Andrew stopped me and said, “Read what Julia says about sautéing,” and he opened the page in the book. Initially I thought, “How dare he tell me how to sauté? I know how to sauté.” But, I figured I was not in a position to argue. He had already made a perfect gourmet meal and Julia Childs’ is an expert. I read it. I did NOT know how to sauté. I followed Julia’s instructions and it was a revelation. I made something that did not just taste good (my usual saute). It tasted beautiful. It tasted like heaven.

I feel like a new woman. Can a cook book change a person’s life? Indeed. I think Andrew and I are happier people now for having made fine French food--food that tasted like heaven bathed in butter. I think I would like to set a resolution to make one meal out of MtAoFC every week. No pressure--It's not an ultimatum. It's just a goal.

Do yourself a favor and get a copy of Mastering the Art of French Cooking (check your local library) and make one recipe, and follow it to the letter. When you do, you will feel different about food, yourself, the world--something. You will feel triumphant. “The moment one gives close attention to any thing, even a blade of grass it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself.” --Henry Miller

MY SHAME

I am sure our own family’s struggles are small. Last Friday as I left the grocery store, I saw an old man holding the hands of two toddlers—one looked to be 2 ½ years old and the other looked to be 1 ½ years old and they both had big smiles. The boys were tugging on the old man’s hand trying to get him to move faster. They had no clothes on and no shoes on and they were walking on very hot asphalt, and they both had on natty old diapers that looked like they had been wearing for two days. I immediately thought. I need to drop these groceries, pick up these little boys, and take them inside the store to spare their feet. I thought, “I need to ask the man if he needed me to buy clothes, shoes and diapers for them.” My arms were full of groceries, milk, eggs, fruit. I had very little time drive home put my groceries in the fridge and drive to the other side of town to meet Andrew for an important meeting, and I was already running late. I passed on by, and thought surely someone else will feel as I and help this man. I went on about my business.

OF COURSE, I felt horrible leaving them behind. As soon as I reached Andrew I told him what I had seen. Andrew told me I had done a bad thing. I said, “I know.” Andrew would have stopped. He would have simply apologized to me for being late and said that it was important to help these people. And I would have forgiven him recognizing the importance of his good act.

For the next day or so, the scene replayed in my mind over and over. I knew I had done wrong. I confessed, but I have yet to perform my penance. In my head, I think I have made my penance grander than intended. Perhaps no one else stepped up to help the man and boys. And in this day and age it is likely no one did. It was I who was supposed to step up and I passed them by.

I am sure my troubles are small. In fact, I am sure that they are not large enough, because those who suffer greatly also have much empathy and often give a lot. Don’t be like me! Don’t let my shame be your shame as well. Stop next time you see someone who looks like they need help. No matter what you are doing, no errand, or jug of milk, is so important to not help a fellow human in need. . “'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'” (Matthew 25:40).

TRUDGING ALONG

I am looking forward to the day when all have to do when I go to bed is sleep. I am so tired. Even though I am exhausted, I truly do cherish my nighttime parenting of baby Kristiana, and the 11:00 p.m. snuggle Alexander and I had last night. It is so strange that the punishment is worth it to have children. If I had known that this was what my parents were going through when we were kids, I might have been a lot nicer and forgiving toward them.

For the past few weeks…month…year…two and three quarters years…I have felt like Andrew and I are zombies—very little sleep, working hard. The kids still have not quite recovered from the junk they had a week and a half ago. They gave it to us via baby slobber and dirty little boy hands. Andrew and I sort of muscled through the last two weekends.

I fear the winter cold and flu season. School started back last Wednesday. Half of one whole elementary school is already out with Swine flu. There is still no flu vaccine and I fear for Alexander’s asthma. I know we are going to have to go through the Swine flu in our house. It is inevitable. Blessed Theotokos, pray for us.

Andrew’s tonsils are giving out on him. He was at the emergency room last Saturday with a very bad tonsil infection. Andrew's not one to complain about pain, so when he said he needed to see a doctor, I said go to the emergency room, don't wait until Monday. I am so glad he went. His infection could have been fatal by Monday. He got some antibiotics and is feeling better. Hopefully, at some point this year, his doctor will decide to remove them.

I have "the coughs." Krisitiana has the same thing plus pink eye (nice, great, excellent *sarcasm*). It's a drainage tickle. It's very bad in the night. I get to take a little cough medicine, which sort of helps. Kristiana just nurses all night. I am okay with her nursing, because it's better than listening to her cough all night. I can sleep through her nursing. So we're just trudging through it.

Morning Mad Dash

Last night was strange and restless. Alex had a fever from Saturday through Monday. Kristiana had a fever Saturday and Sunday. Both of them seemed to have a little bit of an upset stomach and the sniffles. They were both feeling better yesterday, but their noses are still running. Now Andrew and I both have what they had. Our sinuses hurt, my glands are swollen. Now I truly empathize with the kids.

Last night both the kids slept with me and Andrew slept in Alexander’s bed :-) Kristiana literally nursed all night long. I think it was her attempt at keeping the snot from blocking her nose. If she kept swallowing, she would also swallow the snot. Alex—I do not know what his problem was. He just woke up every once and a while and would cry, and I would hold his hand and tell him it’s okay and he would go back to sleep.

All night long it was hot and cold and I had children strewn about my bed in various positions. Each time I woke, I kept wondering when the morning alarm would sound. It never did. Kristiana began to coo and I realized this was my alarm. At this point, I reached over to the nightstand searching for my cell phone to check the time. It was 5:58 a.m. “This is a good time to get up. If I move quickly, I can fit in a jog.” So I did. I ushered sleepy children (who almost immediately acknowledge my absence from the bed) from room to room. We arrived at the back door, Alexander was still not sure what is going on. I do not usually wake him up until 7:15 a.m. “Do you want to go outside with Mummy?”

Excitedly he replied, “Yes!”

“Okay, go put your shoes on.”

“Yes, yes, Mommy, put your shoes on.” He pointed with a serious visage toward the shoes. Some how I manage to change the baby’s diaper, get his shoes on, my shoes on and a juice into his hand, and we went flying out the door. Now I had to assemble a double jogging stroller—an engineer type designed it, but he did not design it for the multi-tasking mum with two babies in hand. After some struggle finally I was on my way jogging in the cool, dark, morning air. It was 6:15 a.m. “How did I get going so quickly?” Alexander was quite surprised it was still dark.

We moved quickly toward the track. I would guess it is 400 meters from the house. It’s down the way and across the busy central street in our suburban town. There’s hardly any traffic at this time. I was three quarters of the way there. “Oh crap! Skunk! I knew I should not have come this way. Oh thank goodness. It’s a baby and it’s running away.” (I saw the mama skunk as road kill last week. That skunk probably won’t bother me anymore.)

I jogged one mile. Always as I hit the second turn I say a prayer. It’s usually a prayer for my own soul. Alexander was not happy about the prayers. He was not ready to pray. He wanted to get out of the stroller . So I let him out and left him on the track. He was starting to be an unruly two-year-old. I jogged two more laps and then saw him running toward me diagonally across the football field. The high school football coach jogs there in the morning too. As he passed by he commented that Alexander ran fast. I agreed with him. “Are you ready to get in the stroller and go home?” After some coaxing he did get back and the stroller and we jogged home. The sun had come up and Alexander was excited to see that we were outside. He had not put together that the nighttime outside is the same as daytime outside.

Once I arrived home, the real race began. “Okay, make the coffee, Renee!” (still talking to myself). All the while, the baby is on my hip.

I hear a little voice, “French toast, Mommy!”

My monologue begins again, “Okay, okay. French toast, Coffee! baby bottles, breakfast.”

“DEEeeedle Eeep! DEEeeedle Eeep! DEEeeedle Eeep!” Andrew’s alarm began to sound. “Boom, boom, boom.”

“Oh good, Andrew’s up and coming down the stairs. He never gets up that quickly.” He has somewhere to be this morning. It’s his first day teaching the community college classes. “Honey, you want toast?” I made Alex and Andrew breakfast and packed up everyone’s bags. Time to shower—the fastest shower and dressing known to working-woman-kind. Baby had to come with me. It’s easier to keep her happy that way.

After some fussing and bribing to get Alex dressed, somehow we all managed to be in the car by 7:45 a.m. Time to go. “Daddy has to be at school by 7:50 a.m.” The school is one block away. It’s the first day of school for everyone.

“WAAHH!” Both kids crying mad in the back seat.

We drive around the corner and see the biggest traffic jam you’ve ever seen in a small town. “Frak it!” Andrew exclaims. He jumps out of the car, grabs his things and begins walking. He didn’t want to walk, because he didn’t want to be sweaty on the first day. It’s a half mile walk in 80 degree weather. In the end, the students did not arrive to class until 8:40 a.m. Class started at 7:50 a.m. I think the system is broken. Another teacher told Andrew that it only lasts two weeks. But, if you have to waste two weeks with that nonsense, the system is broken.

I sat in traffic another 15 minutes to the daycare, which is usually a 5 minute drive. The kids both cried when I left them in their classrooms. Alexander has a good time at preschool, but does not like how he is simply thrust into an immediate social situation (that’s my speculation based on his behavior, since he wants to go, and he's happy until he gets to the classroom and sees the kids and shuts down and begins to cry.)

What a mad morning.

Alex Did You Do This?

Alex watches the movie cars a lot. He has a lot of toys from the movie. It started with one car and one thing led to another and our two year old, the con-artist, convinced us he needed others. Now he has this many.

My husband came into the living room tonight and asked Alex to pack up his cars into his back pack. Then he looked at the cars and said, "Alex did you do this?" I looked over and a said,

"What did he do?" Alex replied,

"Ya, they're racing?"

Look how each car is just a little bit ahead of each other like a race. It's cute, because he was imagining a race just like the movie. But, it appears a surprise dark-horse, Mickey Mouse, top center, edged out the "Cars" competition.

P.S. Feeling sad tonight because both the kids had fevers today and I had to miss a friend's wedding. :-( I hope people took good pictures.

Mystery Diagnosis - Kristiana

I feel bad that I have not posted on my blog for over a week. This is a pity post—I pittied my lonely blog. So this is my answer to the pitiable blog.

Kristiana has been REALLY fussy lately. It started last Friday. She screams her head off when I am not holding her and sometimes she screams when I am holding her. On Saturday and Sunday she and I barely slept at all. I began to suspect that one of her ear tubes had fallen out already, since every once and a while she would rub her ear. I took her for a visit to the ENT doctor and he said her ears look great and the rubbing is probably a little fluid in the caverns of her ear canal still drying up. I could use ear drops if it seemed to really bother her. That night I put drops in her ears and it seemed to help. Since the doctor visit I have only seen her rub her ear once or twice.

The fussiness has continued, although we have gotten a little more sleep. I have tried to figure out what is going on with her. I have investigated teething since she does not have any teeth yet. It still looks like none are coming in. I have investigated gas, but patting and burping don’t seem to help. I have suspected allergies. I gave her some benedryl and that quieted her. Ten minutes later she was out like a light. Then I realized, that doesn’t tell me anything, because benedryl will knock anyone out.

She does not sleep at daycare except for a couple of cat naps, so she always comes home and wants sleep and nurse. But, I can’t stay in bed with her nursing her the whole evening, because we have another child who also needs attention. I visit her several times before I go to bed and at that time she comes to bed with me.

She certainly has been clingy. She began going to a different daycare this week. At the other daycare one of the workers was like a second mommy to her. They were great with babies, but Alexander did not seem to get what he needed there. So for now my answer to her fussiness is to hold her and be with her as much as possible. Although I think that there may be more to it, because when she gets fussy she seems to be in pain.

My diagnosis is severe "separation anxiety" typical of babies this age. Possibly coupled with any combination of gas, teething, boredom or allergies. My treatment is to give her the attention she craves, because every complaint from a baby is real.

We have a wedding to attend this weekend and I was not going to take the kids, because it an evening event. But now I am going to take Kristiana with me. Babies are protable and can sleep anywhere. Alexander will stay home with his favorite babysitter.

If there are any other thoughts from medical professionals, or experienced mommies I am open to your thoughts.

The Campaign for Work

Happy Little Hobbites News

Kristiana had tubes put in her ears on Monday. She was a little fussy on Monday, because of the anesthesia. Tuesday she was a very good girl. She clearly felt better. And last night she slept through the night for the first time since she started getting ear infections way back in February. Praise God, Alleluia. Her parents are finally going to start getting some sleep...okay, Kristiana too.

Kristiana has also becoming a little mover and shaker. She has officially started crawling, but she doesn't crawl for long. She usually uses her crawling skills to crawl over to furniture to pull up on. She has become very skilled at furniture surfing. There is some motive to her furniture surfing too. She usually is after her big brother's toys. They are much more interesting than her own. Of course, Big Brother is not at all happy about her interest in his toys. We just try to teach him to share with her.

Alexander has been very successful with his potty training. He will not put on underwear for his parents, but he'll put them on at preschool. He has not mastered the whole art of using the toilet, but that will come with time. He has had a very strong start. All together, Alexander is doing great.

I read in my potty training book (yes, I read books to learn how to do something as simple as potty training. I would be a worry wort if I did not learn about what the "experts" say, and in turn I would probably make Alexander a basketcase) that even though most kids can learn potty training in a weekend, they do not master it for 3-6 months. Which means that they will still have accidents; It may take them time to learn to do #2 in the toilet; They will still wear a diaper to bed for a little while.

Alex also started at a new preschool on Monday, and he likes it very much. They have more structure. He seems to be flourishing. He used to come home very stressed out and cranky. After the first two days at the new preschool he has come home very happy and relaxed. Instead of telling me about how the one of the other kids hurt him, or how he had to go to time out, he tells me about new friends. The new preschool is closer to home and where my husband will be working, so hopefully my husband will be able to pick him up earlier more often.

The Artist and the Cowgirl

Alexander has been having lots of fun painting lately and the paint cleans up really easily so why not paint. :-)




Kristiana received pink cowgirl boots from my sister for her birthday, but I couldn't wait four months to slip them on her feet and take pictures. It's okay though, because they are too big right now and she won't remember when she unwraps them on her birthday.

The Purpose of Life

The purpose of life is not to be rich; the purpose is not to be beautiful; it is not to be smart, beautiful or healthy. The purpose of life is not to be perpetually happy—or to live a life of comfort. The purpose of life is not even to have lots of children. No, the purpose of life is not any of these things. It must be something that all humans can see and do. It must be something readily accessible to all.

If the answer to the purpose of life were to be rich, then rich people would be happy, and they would be the ones deigned to live in Heaven. “How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God! Indeed, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God” (Luke 18:25). We have seen time and time again rich people living tortured, unhappy lives. They have all the money any man could want, and could buy their heart’s desire. Yet, time and again we see that rich people are very unfulfilled people.

The answer to the purpose of life surely cannot be to have health, beauty or intelligence. Once again, we see people who seek health and beauty, yet can never achieve that vision of perfection they seek. For there is always more distance to run at a faster rate. Further a great many of us have poor health and physical disabilities, which are not our own doing—The disabled would never be able to fulfill the purpose of life if the purposed were to be healthy.

What’s more, students often seek to be the very best minds to have ever existed, yet they find they never seem to reach the top. And after opening every book of knowledge one can imagine, the student drops his shoulders in despair and still wants more. He realizes he can never know all that can be known (Ecclesiastes).

What if we all sought to simply be happy and comfortable? Well then we would truly see a sad and dismal existence. For in everything we would seek and seek and seek to happy and would only find that in the end it does not fulfill us—any happiness we gain, the happiness eventually wears away. The simplest way to induce perpetual happiness and comfort is to take a drug that induces this state. If this were the purpose of life, we should all take these drugs every day, biding our happy times until our end.

Children in themselves are full of joy, optimism and life, and bring these qualities to anyone’s life. Alas, children grow and these qualities fade. Also, do not forget the great pain children bring as well. It is a lot of work to rear children. The harder you work the more invested in them you are and the more pain it causes. Every time a child is sick, the parent aches with the child. Every time the child commits wrong doing, the parent aches at the wrong doing and feels blame. Further, others cannot bear children. The heartache of rearing or not bearing children is the greatest of all of life. This too is not clearly the purpose of life.

Of all the things that we are and do, what can be they purpose of this life? It must be something that is possible for the greatest to the least of us. It must be something that is not dependent on our happiness or suffering. It must not be dependent on whether we are fat or thin, healthy or sick, intelligent or simple-minded, rich or poor.

“’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment.’ And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself’” (Matthew 22:37-39).

The purpose of life must be to Love. It is something all humans can do, despite our happenstance. Love is something that we can do despite all the challenges life presents. For example, those who experience great suffering can choose to love others in spite of their suffering. If we love, we find that life is very fulfilling, and for those who believe in the afterlife it the key to the doorway to Heaven.

What is love properly understood? This is a very good question because there are those who have diseases (such as reactive attachment disorder), and brain injuries that prevent a person from feeling loving toward other people. So it would seem that not everyone is able to love. But, this is not love understood rightly. I argue that it is possible to love without the emotions associated with love.

People commonly think that love is an emotion. Let us first remove the emotions normally associated with love. Let us remove our own physicality too. The emotions confuse what love is rightly understood. Emotions are subject to error, because they are a physical reaction that occurs without reason. The mind can censure emotion using rationality. Therefore, love is not an emotion.

A lot of people understand love as being unconditional. This is a very good description of how love operates, but loving unconditionally is not love in itself. Unconditional love means that your act of love is not dependent on any other condition. But, unconditional does not define the act in itself.

Love is one of those things which cannot be strictly defined in finite terms. However for man, love is the pursuit of good in itself (1 Corinthians 13). That is to say, to love is to seek to know, in each and every thing, its perfection—its good. Should a thing have no good, then there should be nothing to love.

The purpose of life is to love.

(I could probably write a philosophy dissertation on this, but since I am not seeking a doctorate, I think I will just end it with that.)

Grandpa A Go Go

My father just left after a week long visit. Dad, Kristiana and I all went jogging at the track each morning at 6 a.m. while he was here. Dad pushed Kristiana. She would sing to him while he pushed her. It was a nice little thing we all did together.

Dad also helped start Alexander with potty training. Alexander was not much interested in actually completing this task until my Dad came along. Alex is about half there to taking command of this now. There are certain skills he is lacking. He's a bit like my husband, who potty trained on a cross country car trip. Everytime I take Alexander out I ask him if he would like to use the potty, he eagerly says, "Yes!" Peeing in strange toilets is exciting for these Claytons.

Thanks for the help, Dad.

Mama Always Said, “Be Nice to Your Siblings…”

Mama always said, “Be nice to your siblings, you never know when you won’t have them anymore.” I never listened to her. My brother and sister and I always spent a lot of time being really mean and cruel to each other. It was a sibling rivalry thing. We were all intelligent, sensitive and insecure. So we all were competing to be the best and none of us ever felt good enough, therefore we were just mean to each other.

Years later, as I returned to my home to after my brother's funeral, I was very mad at myself for not having been friends with my siblings longer. Mom was right. I will be saying the same thing to my kids, only I will add my little truth in this statement. "Mummy doesn't have her brother anymore and even though we fought when we were little, I would very much like to have him back to be nice to now."

When we became adults and after we all blazed our own individual trails in the world, we were finally able to become goods friends and respect each other. But we had already spent 80% of the time we knew each other being ugly. I try not to forget to tell my sister I love her, now. We never said that to each other when we were kids.

I read this article today on how to stop sibling rivalry. It had a lot of tips that I think will be very useful to any family. I began to tear up a little at the end as one of the experts pointed out, “’One thing you can't take away from your children is their shared history,’ says Faber. ‘No one else shared those years in that home with those parents. That's theirs forever. From that, they can form a very deep bond.’” It’s true, and one of the people I shared my childhood and deepest common bond with is not here anymore.

I think the aforementioned quote is one of the really important reasons people need to have siblings. It’s important to have someone to identify with. Being able to share what made you, you with another human being and having that person completely understand where you came from is so important in defining and understanding yourself.

I am setting out to create a deep, loving bond in my family. No one will stick their neck out for you like a family member. It’s really important to a person’s success to have the support of their family. Some have success in spite of their family, but it’s better to have your family to thank for it and share it. Because I am setting out to do this, I am sure it will all just backfire in my face. But with the Grace of God, and some of the tools in this article, hopefully I can change the past.

Save A Tata

Today I helped my boss and friend set up a blog to chronicle her journey to beat breast cancer. The blog is to help her family and friends stay current on the situation, so she doesn’t have to repeat the details 1,000 times.

Janet found out at the beginning of July she has the most aggressive kind of breast cancer. But it should not spread throughout her body and once it’s gone, it should not come back. “The Thing,” as she calls it, is quite large, so she will require lots of chemo therapy.

I have never known anyone close to me who has to go through this, but now I will see it daily. She begins her chemo tomorrow, so say a little prayer for Janet. Pray for her to be strong in what ever way she needs. Pray for her cancer to go away. After chemo she will the tumor removed, or likely have a double mastectomy, but one thing at a time—one day at a time. My job will be to try to pick up the slack at work. I hope I will do a good job.

Here I am trying on one of the wigs she bought for when her hair falls out.

She wanted everyone to try them on for some giggles.

Leftover Remix

I give myself A+ for color and interesting use of leftovers. This was leftover rosemary bake pork chops and leftover barbecued onions and yellow squash. The remix is mango jalapeno chile sauce with coconut simmered for 30 minutes with the pork chops rinsed of the rosemary and chopped into cubes, and two sliced strawberries for garnish. Yay me!...and a couple cutie patooties on the side.

Wisdom from Hollywood?

This is another one that is funny because it's true. This clip makes me think of the movie "Idiocracy." If you haven't seen it, do. It's vulgar, but it really hits a chord in present day society.

More Heat!

I received a lot of reply messages to my little global warming rant, which is funny, because it proves my point that the chatter about this gets really heated in the middle of the summer.

Now, I want to point out that I never said whether I personally thought global warming is "real," "man made," or "happening." (Global warming debate buzzwords.) I was simply pointing out that we hear A LOT about it during the summer, and that I heard about a new book on the debate. You always hear about the side that we are undergoing global warming and it is caused by human polution. So I thought it was interesting that there was a new book about the history of weather and warming and cooling trends.

Another point I was trying to make was that most people do not really have the slightest clue about the history of the earth's weather--or even what cause weather patterns. It would be presumptuous to claim to have knowledge about this topic simply because you viewed a documentary, or read a National Geographic article. Yet, lots of people speak as though they are experts on it. In order to be truly informed, scientific training and historical knowledge is needed.

In my opinion (here it is), I do not have a clue, I am not a trained professional on this, and there is very good expert advice from both sides, therefore my understanding of this is as inconclusive as the expert data.

This morning, this article was the headline of the Wall Street Journal, "Texas Scorched by Worst Drought in 50 Years: Crop and Livestock Losses Reach $3.6 Billion, and Tourism Industry Takes a Hit; Meteorologists Predict Relief in the Fall." It was an interesting article, stating the facts and it did not once mention global warming. I applaud this journalist's restraint. However, pray for Texas, because this drought will undoubtedly have a severe effect on the economy, which something no one needs at this point.

Sometimes I think it is my imagination that it is so hot here. But, this confirms it. Andrew and I have finally adjusted to the heat. We no longer gush sweat immediately when we enter the heat from indoor air conditioning. For the first time since we have lived here, Andrew turned the air conditioner down last night and endured slightly warmer temperatures in the house (our electric meter was spinning madly we couldn't even see the needle). Well done, Andrew--he is naturally hot natured and prefers cooler temperatures like the Pacific Northwest. :-)

Operation Cookie Drop

I decided to help make cookies for our troops with a few other cool ladies. My sister is in the Air Force and I would want someone to send cookies to her when she is overseas too. It's not easy being far away from home working hard. It's all explained here. I think three more bakers are needed if you like making 5 dozen cookies every once and a while and shipping them overseas. I am sure this is going to get a little expensive. I made oatmeal spice with chocolate chips and double chocolate with peanut butter chips. Then I wrapped them in cling wrap to keep them fresh and travel better. I hope they make it. God bless our troops.

...And a couple of cutie patooties.

Judgment for All

With the Supreme Court nomination of Sotomayor being discussed in the news, I cannot help think about Roe V. Wade, since this question always comes up in nomination hearings. Sotomayor does not make her opinion about abortion explicit. She thinks it is mute, since the court has already decided. But the Roe V. Wade decision has made the biggest impact ever on the world’s history. Therefore, it is not insignificant to discuss it. Despite there being a high court decision the question will always remain.

McCorvey, the defendant in Roe V. Wade is now a pro-life activist. She said there is something crucial we are missing, because Roe V. Wade has not been overturned. SHE thinks that there needs to be pro-life judges in the court order to help overturn the Supreme Court decision.

Quite frankly, abortion existed before the “landmark” court case Roe V. Wade, and would have continued without this case. However, now that legal precedence has been established in the courts we can not stop abortion by fighting it in the courts. They have made their decision. Since abortion has existed for a long time (it is mentioned in ancient texts), people will still want to do it—so long as murder exists so too will abortion.

We have prayed a lot about stopping abortion and clearly that grace only goes as far as the heart is open to it. We will continue to pray, but all humans have free will and all are fallen.

I think what we need is social norm-ing. We need a strong campaign flowing into the mainstream of society sending the message to the public. “Abortion ends a defenseless human life and that is wrong!” “There are alternatives to abortion.” I think the crucial component missing in the fight is money and an effective campaign. We need money to pay for the campaign to enter into the mainstream.

The Supreme Courts decision was that the U.S. Constitution does not provide for the government to stop an abortion. The decision and message went across the land that “We, as a government cannot stop this.” They were right. The power to stop abortion rests in heads of those who choose to abort their procreation. The decision is ultimately the mother’s. Breaking this decision down even further, if society tells her it is acceptable to take this action, then she will, and not feel badly about it. If society tells her that it is of bad moral character to make this decision and it comes with great risk to her own life, she still may make the bad decision, but she would be FAR less likely to do so.

So finally, our battle within the courts was fought and lost. Do not try anymore to enter this impenetrable fortress known as the Supreme Court. The weapon they hold is the Constitution in which they believe abortion is an inalienable freedom. Let us find new, battle ground—let us use new and different weapons.

Maybe I do not know anything about any of this (law, medicine, psychology) and I am showing my ignorance. But, there is no substitute for good character. Just the same as there is no effectual substitute for exercise and healthy eating. This has been haunting me. I keep thinking that abortion and euthanasia are not freedoms at all. There are simply quick fixes to very weighty, perplexing life events. They say, “I do not WANT to deal with this, so I am going to end it.”

Freedom was defined for Americans in the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution. Very famously we never forget that what we seek is, “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” The first of these is “life,” and therefore, we must be a pro-life nation first and foremost in order to fulfill our national creed. This judgment made by the Supreme Court violates the first tenants of our nation. It’s not a state’s rights issue. It is an ethical quandary for all humanity seeking civil society.

May God have mercy on us all.

De-clutter-ization of My Mind

I do not know why, but I am feeling a little down and restless. Maybe I am a little disappointed in myself. Kristiana has been waking a lot in the night lately, so I have been really tired. She has had a lot of ear infections. It runs in the family. She is going to have tubes put in her ears, I think. We have an appointment with an E.N.T. We have also had family visiting, which has also changed my regular routine, but it was nice to see them. Because I have been really tired, I have not been getting up in the morning to pray and exercise for a couple of weeks. I have also been drinking way too much coffee to deal with my tiredness and lack of focus. I have not had time to blog to get out the pesky clutter in my mind. I always seem to get a little stressed and glum when I am not keeping up good habits and a regular routine.

This blog will be about the clutter intermingled with some family chronicles.

I have been seeing all these fun things to take pictures of, but either don’t have my camera, or the batteries are dead, or I never get around to downloading them, or I think about taking a picture and then think its awfully conceded to think about taking a picture just because it might be fun to post on my blog. MY BLOG—about ME and MY life. That’s so conceded. Every time I post a blog, I don’t like it to be about myself. I like to give the honor elsewhere. This whole paragraph has been about me, and now I am embarrassed. Anyhow, sorry if you have been looking for fun and interesting posts from Claytonopolis and they have been absent.

There are some things that have been haunting me a lot lately (other than not exercising and praying.) I have been hearing a call to learn icon writing and I have been hearing it louder and louder this summer. Major reasons I have not answered the call are time and money. I would need the tools, which would cost a small fortune. I found four books on amazon that I think would give me enough knowledge to learn this on my own. I could find short stints of time in the evenings and on the weekends to work on this, but not large amounts of time like going to an icon writing workshop. With no time and money this will continue to haunt me daily.

Eternal Memory - Adam Pray For Us

May 11, 1986 - July 16, 2006

Surrender

By Renée Clayton

All my worldly trappings bound me
To a life of ugly falsity
My mind and body anguished
Nothing could set me free

I sobbed in remembrance
Of a youth so unencumbered.
I longed for those days.
Life seemed truly simple then.

I called out to my Maker,
Asked to be directed to the Light
All I heard in return was
The quiet, quiet, night.

Angrily I questioned His existence—
Or had I been forsaken?
Had I let my soul be evilly imprisoned—
Or was there even a soul to be taken?

Suddenly, in this hot, whirling fury
Of thought and emotion I remembered,
Faith like a child.
I said farewell
To things that had kept me—
Then I surrendered.

I numbered the things I clung to so dearly—
Goodbye family, goodbye wealth, goodbye health.
These things were not mine—
Provided to me by Holy happenstance.

I accepted my place.
Creature enslaved to my creation.
I surrendered the trappings
That had caused my ugly conflagration.

The Dawn had come,
The tempest inside of me had subsided.
I Glorified the Lord for what he had provided.

Then I said once more
As I stepped out into the day Light,

I surrender.

Global Warming – Also Known As Summer (A Little Rant)

Have you noticed how every summer the global warming debate really heats up (pardon the pun)? Yes, maybe some discussion happens during other times of the year. But the chatter gets really loud in the late part of June and continues through the fall. Why? Because it’s so darn hot! It’s 102 degrees Fahrenheit in Waco today. When it’s that hot it is real easy to convince folks that there might be something to this global warming thing.

It was pretty smart to bring the “Cap and Trade Bill” to congress in the middle of summer.

One congressman to another, “Man it’s so hot. Those polar ice caps are melting you know?!”

“Man, you’re right it was so hot today when I went to the café at lunch. It’s so hot! We’ve got to stop this global warming thing.”

“Oh, I know! Let’s pass the Cap and Trade Bill!”

“Dude, what a good idea!”

It’s not global warming! It is a season we call sum-mer.

Global warming is especially convincing when most people do not have a clue about the history of global weather. Did you know that the earth was much warmer 4,000-7,000 years ago? That’s during the time the pyramids were being built. The Medieval time period was a mini ice-age. Throughout history the earth has constantly experienced warming and cooling cycles. What we need to do is adapt and stop complaining about “it” in the heat of summer.

I heard about this book today. It looks pretty interesting. If you are interested in the global warming debate, it might be helpful to check out what this expert says.

Meltdown: The Predictable Distortion of Global Warming by Scientists, Politicians, and the Media By Patrick J. Michaels

The Negotiator - The Jelly Bean Saga Continues

Alexander's well advertised jelly bean phase has taken on a new depth. We have been offering jelly beans as rewards for acquiescing to our demands. I'd rather have him go to bed with dinner in his belly along with a few jelly beans, than have him go to bed with half a cup of milk in his belly and a bad attitude. We think it's a win-win situation. He has also taken on a defiant two year old attitude. He would say "no" to ice cream if he thought it would spite us, his parents (he actually did say no to ice cream in a series of "Do you want...?" questions).

This morning he was being moderately defiant and he was also zoning into Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on T.V. Both Andrew and I asked him individually to get dressed and he ignored us both, and upon another request he said, "No." So Andrew, in sleepiness and little patience said, "Alexander, come get dressed and I will give you some jelly beans."

So I chimed in to make sure he didn't get too many. "Okay, Alex you will get three jelly beans if you get dressed." He was still kind of ignoring us. "Alex, do you want jelly beans?"

"Yeah!"

Andrew jumped up to get the jelly beans, "Okay, I am going to go get three jelly beans for you."

As Daddy walked away Alexander replied to him, "Yeah, okay. Four!"

We both chuckled. Did he just negotiate the price of getting dressed? Andrew said, "Okay, four and you will get dressed."

It still took some coaxing to get him to get dressed and accept payment of the jelly beans. He didn't quite understand that because he was getting jelly beans that meant he needed to get dressed NOW. Instead of on his own time. He insisted the jelly beans be in his hand as he got dressed.

"Arthur's Jelly Beans" is this week's favorite library find due to the obvious co-star.