Friday, February 3, 2012

Where's The Peace Button?

I talked to another mommy friend.  She is always willing to lend an ear.  She is more experience and wiser.  I would call her more often if she, or I had more time, but such is life.  She gave some GREAT advice today.

I was calling her about five year old boys.  Recently, I have been talking to friends about their five year old boys.  It seems that they are all experiencing similar situations with their five year old boys.  Which led me to wonder if this is simply a phase, even though I view it to be my son's personality.  So I called to inquire about my friend's boys when they were five.  She is a homeschooling mother of six children, so she ought have some insight.  I asked if her boys were like this when they were five.  She said that they were a lot shyer and she was a lot sterner.  She does not put up with anything.  But her boys went to school when they were that age and then the boys requested to do home school.

She digressed, that children will always be testing their limits.  They are not trying to push your buttons.  They are trying to find the boundaries.  If you do not firmly let them know where they are, they will push it.  Not knowing where the boundaries are, they will not feel as secure in the world.  But don't take offense to their tests.

I feel more at peace with this answer.  Actually, I have been a lot more at peace with this week and I feel a lot more productive.  In general, my mood feels more stable and it seems that the fish oil I have added to my diet is helping.  Or maybe I have just come over some hormonal hill and this rough patch is now passed me.

It has now been two weeks that Alex has refused all "home school" lessons.  I guess my aforementioned friend would simply get stern and make him mind.  However, my son is five and stubborn.  He does not just lie down and roll over when I get stern.  When I reason with him (insomuch as tots are capable), I do get some results.  It runs in the family to be turned off something forever with one bad experience.  I do not want him hating school, and learning, and me teaching him at five years old.  So I try to play it cool and use child-psychology of which I know very little.  But it turns out a lot of it is intuitive.  As in, show people love and respect and you will be able to work things out, most of the time.  So this week, after deciding that he is going to kindergarten outside of the home next year, I have played it very cool with him (this has brought me peace as well).  And you know what, his desire to learn has not decreased.  He just has to be the instigator of it.  So we HAVE done a lot of learning without school books and worksheets.  This makes me a little sad, because my current home school plan is out of the question.

I have picked up some more books on home schooling from the library.  I have not really been interested in Montessori, but I picked up the handbook.  We will see.  I could see myself doing some sort of combo of Montessori and something else.  But, I do not really know anything about Montessori in depth.  As someone who came through conventional schooling, this is what I know and am inclined to desire conventional lessons, perhaps with some life skills lessons littered here and there.  I just have to think about how to creatively teach Alex without doing it under the guises of "this is a home school lesson."  Which puts me out of my comfort zone unsure of whether I can do this, despite my desire to homeschool.  All along I have said, I can do this if some curriculum program spells it out for me.

Still praying about it and trying to surrender it all to our Maker.

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After Alex worked with the pattern blocks he wanted to make his own pattern - a pyramid with different color levels

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Kristiana's lesson - shapes and letters

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Annie's home school lesson - cups and lids

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anne said...

aw, hang in there. Let me know if you're interested in chatting w/ T's mum.. she's got a lot of boys :)

Kacy said...

Unschooling? ;-)